Press "Enter" to skip to content

Hideo Kojima and Wife Debate Naming Son Either ‘Michael’ or ‘Fragile-Babyman’

TOKYO — Legendary game producer Hideo Kojima and his wife have recently welcomed a new son into the world, but the couple is split on whether to name their child either ‘Michael’ or ‘Fragile-Babyman.’

“Someone has to intervene on this,” Kojima’s wife said, preferring to keep her name anonymous. “I thought he was kidding around when he pitched Fragile-Babyman or Tiny-Infantboy, but he keeps pushing them and it’s not funny anymore. Has he never met someone with a real name before? Does he think our son is going to stay a baby forever? Many questions I have about this situation are going unanswered. I don’t even really like the name ‘Michael,’ I just need a counterpoint so our son doesn’t end up being teased on the playground for being named ‘FetusMan.’”

Hideo Kojima defended his choice of name for his son.

“Is he not fragile? Is he not a baby? These things are true about him,” Kojima said. “A name should reflect his truth, and he is a fragile little baby man. Why beat around the bush? Name the child Fragile-Babyman so people know. I told Helen if she doesn’t like that name, we can just also name him five additional names as well, after the child’s various fears, weaknesses, and insecurities. Also, I said I would be fine naming him ‘Michael-Man,’ provided he has a traumatic memory involving someone named Michael from his past. This did not please her.”

At press time, sources reported that the couple finally decided to agree on naming the child after a character in one of Kojima’s games: Hideo Kojima.

We\'re giving away 50 Hard Drive t-shirts and other merch items to Patrons this week.
Become a patron at Patreon!