LOS ANGELES — Self-proclaimed Snyder superfan Jason Morris has taken matters into his own hands to #RestoreTheSnyderverse and is holding James Gunn at knifepoint on a Hollywood street, LAPD sources confirm.
“Zack Snyder is a visionary filmmaker and he has legions of fans that demand for his full vision of a DC cinematic universe to come into fruition,” said Morris. “Warner Brothers sabotaged the box office because they wanted to Marvelize the universe with this stupid James Gunn Superman reboot. I am here to rectify this betrayal and ask James politely to give Henry Cavill the role of Superman back and to finish what Zack started. Here’s how we can still restore the Snyderverse: we put more pressure on the jugular.”
James Gunn said that he believes that some superhero superfans are being a little unreasonable.
“Zack and I are friends,” said Gunn, blood dripping down from the knife being pressed into his neck. “He did a good job bringing his vision to the screen. He has moved on, though, and it’s my job to help lay the groundwork and shepherd in a new universe with a lot of talented creative voices that I hope people will love. For the love of god officer, please take the shot. He’s going to kill me.”
Zack Snyder admires the passion of his fans but thinks people are taking it a little too far.
“Hostage situation? Sounds pretty badass!” said Snyder. “James is my friend and I hope that he lives long enough to keep making his movies. I’m excited to check them out. James promised me he would watch my Rebel Moon movies when he had some time. I don’t think violence is the answer, unless it involves Superman or Batman committing acts of mass violence on-screen. I don’t condone my fans taking extremist action. They should keep that energy just on social media.”
At press time, Snyder fans were quick to remind anyone who would listen that Man of Steel made more domestically than Gunn’s Superman if you adjust for inflation and that if we besmirch the Snyderverse that they know where we live.
