Hey, everyone! Donkey Kong here. This week I am going to share my favorite recipe of all. It is one that I really cherish.
Back when I was a young ape I would spend my summers in Cranky’s kitchen. The warm air of Donkey Kong Island would come through the windows bringing in a sweet salty sea smell. I was so carefree back then. I was not going on as many adventures. Baking provides me with so many nostalgic memories. Scent provides me with a connection to the past and I get transported to my childhood whenever I get a whiff of all these flavors of walnuts, peanuts, and pineapple smells. I even made a rap song about it.
However banana bread was the one recipe I disagreed with my family on how it should be made. Candy Kong once told me that banana bread is a no-fuss recipe and that you should be able to make it with the ingredients you have around you. So that’s the philosophy I used when developing my banana bread. I have all this bone meal just lying around the kitchen and I have all these green bananas that Chunky Kong gathered on his quest. It should be easy enough for you to make at home in your kitchen as well. Be sure to wear an apron or else you’ll get your tie messy!
Every other Kong likes their banana bread solid and just a little moist. I prefer a soupy mixture. Cranky Kong has called this recipe “disgusting” and “shameful” in the past, but he is called Cranky for a reason! Diddy Kong liked this banana bread so much that I even saw him feeding it to Rambi the Rhinoceros under the table when he thought I wasn’t looking. He loves to share.
I have spent years perfecting my banana bread recipe. I’m not allowed to call it a family recipe because no one wants anything to do with it. I love it though, and I hope you will too! The smell is unforgettable.
Here are all the ingredients you need to make DK’s Banana Bread Surprise:
- All-Purpose Flour. It satisfies all purposes including this recipe
- Baking powder. You can substitute baking soda if you want. They are the same thing.
- Bone meal. The fresher the better.
- Rock salt. The bigger the chunks the more satisfying the crunch.
- Brown sugar. It along with the water helps make the bread extra moist
- Butter. Melt it or toss it in hard and cold. Baking is not a science.
- Parrot eggs. I steal these from Squawks.
- Green bananas. I’m not using my yellow bananas. Chunky collects these ones and what they lack in flavor they make up for in ruggedness.
- Vanilla extract. It brings some flavor to the recipe.
- Tap water. Gooey and drippy banana bread is the best kind
- Raisins. Everyone loves raisins.
You will also need a mixing bowl, a whisk, a 9×5 inch loaf pan, an electric mixer, and a spoon. Borrow a friend’s oven if you don’t have one at home.
Step 1.
Preheat the oven to 374 degrees F. Do not bother greasing your 9×5 inch loaf pan.
Step 2.
Combine the flour, bone meal, baking powder, rock salt chunks and brown sugar into a bowl. Whisk thoroughly. Put the half cup of butter and parrot eggs in. You don’t need to worry about cracking the parrot eggs as your electric mixer will already do the job of breaking them open. Add in the vanilla extract and tap water.
Take your mashed green bananas and put them in with all the other ingredients. If you have trouble mashing bananas this fresh, try punching them with your fists even harder. Turn on the electric mixer to maximum speed.
Step 3.
Pour the batter into the ungreased pan and turn on some cool music. You’ll be waiting for a while for this to bake.
Step 4.
Bake for an hour in the oven, or until it starts to smell burned. Whichever comes first.
Step 5.
Put on oven mitts. This step is very important!
Step 6.
Take the banana bread out of the oven. Sprinkle a good amount of bone meal on top of it as garnish.
Step 7.
Wait for it to cool down, grab a spoon, and dig in!
Ingredient List
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
½ cup bone meal
1 teaspoon baking powder
6 chunks of rock salt
¾ cup brown sugar
½ cup butter
2 parrot eggs
3 cups mashed green bananas
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1 teaspoon of tap water
A handful of raisins
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EDITOR’S NOTE: Hard Drive’s lawyers have told us to advise humans against consuming any amount of bone meal. They also told us not to dare bring this recipe to the company potluck.
