NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Local gamer Dennis Tucker reportedly lied about scoring a PlayStation 5 two years ago and is running out of believable excuses as to why his friends have never seen it, sources have confirmed.
“I’m really starting to think Dennis never got a PlayStation 5 like he said,” said Lou Schmidt, a friend of Tucker’s. “I mean with COVID raging, I’m sure it was easy to lie about it at first. But now every time I suggest we get together and play it or he brings it over or something, it’s one excuse after the other. I texted him because I was in his neighborhood the other night and he said I couldn’t come by because he was ‘redoing all his toiles.’ What does that even mean?”
Despite skepticism from friends, Tucker insisted that he totally had a PlayStation 5.
“Look, I want to put the rumors to rest right now,” he said. “I can see where my friends are coming from, but I totally, completely got a PlayStation 5 right when they come out. I played Demon’s Souls on it. It was really hard! Oh, shit, I said I’d bring it with me, didn’t I? Damn, that was going to put all of this to rest and I just totally forgot it. Darn. That’s not very good for your story, I’m really sorry about that, man.”
Executives from Sony said that anyone that’s been lying about getting a PlayStation 5 should only have to hold strong for a little bit longer .
“We know a lot of you probably have been stringing your friends along for a while at this point, and we’re really sorry about that,” said Jim Ryan, resident and CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment. “We really think that after 24 months we’re finally on the verge of having PlayStation 5’s be readily available wherever game consoles are sold. Another year or two and we should be golden.”
As of press time, Tucker had canceled weekend plans with friends because his leg felt weird.
