ST. LOUIS — Saying it was time to grow up, local man Jared Henley finally upgraded his apartment decor from a dingy, thin Minecraft poster on his wall to a pristine, framed Minecraft poster on his wall.
“When I became a man, I put away childish things,” Henley said, admiring his new framed artwork. “I can’t believe how childish and low-class my wall art taste used to be. I just had this pathetic taped-up Minecraft poster from Target. But I’m proud to say that now I’ve matured enough to frame a bespoke Minecraft poster from Etsy, like an adult.”
Henley’s housemate Ryan Feeble said that the new artwork was just the beginning of their extensive redecorating initiative.
“We’re trying to really supe up the entire house,” said. “It’s been very rewarding to see our house transform from looking like some little kids playroom to a confident, adult man’s playroom. We sold our bean bag chairs and bought professional-looking gaming chairs. We even bought some adult coffee table books for our guests to peruse and converse about the beautiful art of Super Mario Galaxy.”
Henley’s mother, Alicia Henley-Frances, said she welcomed the change in her son’s life.
“I’m proud to see Jared finally growing up after all these years,” Henley-Frances said. “He used to have all these sad little toys and knick knacks, but now he tells me he has a ‘Studio Ghibli’ painting on his wall, which sounds impressive. He even has these tasteful erotic portraits of ‘Mikasa Ackerman,’ who I’m assuming is a foreign model. Very adult!”
At press time, Henley had reportedly improved the overall feng shui of the poster even further by adding two foam diamond swords on either side.