HOLLYWOOD — The Golden Globes are reportedly set to become more watchable for gamers this year as producers plan to jam the ceremony full of more ads than ever before.
“I saw my son watching this ceremony called ‘The Game Awards’ on his laptop. I sat with him as he just absorbed and cheered on advertisement after advertisement. The next day I saw this ‘ceremony’ had 118 million viewers so I decided right there that we need to show more ads to attract the gamer audience,” explained Golden Globes executive producer Dan Klein. “We scoured hundreds of hours of Game Awards footage to determine what about it we could emulate. First, we thought we could just get a similar host but no one in Hollywood is that big of a charisma vacuum. Once we realized that over 90% of the content was advertisements it became clear to us: Show ads, and gamers will come.”
Geoff Keighley, host and producer of The Game Awards, says he isn’t threatened by the competition.
“It’s great,” Keighley said. “Almost as great as Cool Ranch Doritos, which are available in grocery stores, pharmacies, and gas stations worldwide. The creation of the Game Awards was fueled by Mountain Dew and its many delicious flavors which can fuel all your late-night gaming sessions.”
Some filmmakers were less than pleased upon hearing the ad-heavy direction the show would take.
“I think it’s pretty disrespectful to turn what’s supposed to be a night of celebration for art and artists into a marketing event,” said Greta Gerwig before being told to wrap it up.
At press time, the Golden Globes are reportedly in talks with Christopher Nolan to speak on stage for 10 minutes about his next project which he hasn’t started yet.
