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Gen Z Parents Praying Baby Cute Enough to Exploit for Likes

UNITED STATES — Young people and self-proclaimed influencers across the country have taken to a new social media trend this spring, having children. Our sources confirm that 1 out of every 5 babies being born today has a social media account before a birth certificate. 

“I’m just so excited to share my journey with all my followers who want to vicariously experience motherhood through a random person on the internet!” Katie Marx said in an Instagram Live as she awaited her scheduled c-section. “The only downside is we won’t know if the baby’s face will be thumbnail marketable until about 4 weeks.”

After failed endeavors into van life and reaction videos, Katie, known online by her handle, KTdoesThingz, found success on social media dressing her French Bulldog in Halloween costumes. Amassing over 45k followers, and gaining exclusive access to the Tik Tok Creators Program, which pays out $1 per every 1000 views. 

“After an unfortunate elevator incident, Alfie is no longer with us, but he really gave us the confidence and income to pursue parenthood,” Craig Hart, Katie’s cameraman and long-term boyfriend, said from just off camera. “I’m sure this decision of getting pregnant immediately after the death of a beloved pet might lead to some sort of therapy down the road, but that’s just a partnership with BetterHelp waiting to happen!”

The child’s birth, which will be streamed on Twitch and Instagram, isn’t the first influencer birth Jefferson Hospital has seen. A rising trend in expectant mothers under 25 has correlated with a social media baby boom. 

“It’s almost a guarantee that if they were born after 9/11 they’re going to ask me to be on their podcast to explain the whole process,” said Dr. Peter Menedez, local OB-GYN. “Doctor-patient confidentiality has lost all meaning.”

At the end of her Instagram Live Katie told her followers that they would have to subscribe to her Patreon if they wanted to ask any more questions. 

At press time, the couple announced that the biggest donor during the Twitch stream will get to name the baby. 

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