HACKENSACK, N.J. — Gamer Todd Harrington has been spotted around his workplace wearing an old t-shirt and pajama pants along with a headset after being told by his parents to dress for the job he wants.
“Well, after receiving that small nugget of wisdom from mom and dad, I knew what I had to do,” Harrington said while showing off his closet containing exactly two shirts and one pair of plaid pants. “I decided to model my life after all my favorite streamers and YouTubers. I haven’t had much popularity online in the past, but I know this will turn things around. I’ve already thrown out all the other clothes I had, so in a way, I’m already halfway there. And it’s also extremely comfy.”
Harrington’s co-worker, Sebastian Roux, was less than sure this method would achieve the results wanted.
“We’ve all heard that phrase, but I don’t think it meant exclusively wearing some nasty unwashed pjs from Walmart,” Roux stated. “I mean, you can’t even get his attention through his soundproof headset. He spends most of the day just sitting at the desk thinking about how he’s gonna thank all his subscribers. Don’t even get me started on his thumbnail practicing. Just hours of gaping his mouth at the mirror. It’s making me so stressed out, I’m worried we’re somehow both gonna get fired.”
According to massively popular streamer RagingTim673, more than an outfit is needed to become an internet superstar.
“Everyone always assumes you need some surface-level aspect, like a specific outfit or a sense of humor to be a streamer,” RagingTim673 began, “But it actually comes from making sure you have the latest games and being able to trick people into thinking you’re friends.”
At press time, Harrington confused co-workers in a meeting when he kept referring to the group that he was presenting to as “chat.”
