SALEM, IL – Tired of life in the big city and fanning the flames of the console war, 30-year-old Stan Franks moved back to his hometown and started playing his childhood Xbox 360 again, Franks confirmed via an Xbox 360 party chat.
“Yeah, I’m playing my 360 again. I just forgot how easy things were back then,” Franks lamented into the microphone. “I wasn’t browsing company earnings to prove my console was the best. I wasn’t quote tweeting some CEO with a snarky comment about their console not having enough exclusives. I was just playing Call of Duty and getting called every slur in the book.”
Franks went on to share some of his favorite memories with his high school console.
“I’ll never forget the all-nighter to beat the Gears 2 campaign. I was so tired. Or shotgunning through five solo players to unlock the Overkill achievement in Halo 3. All those midnight releases, my 360 waited up all night for me to come home,” Franks said, trying not to choke up. “All these years later, this console is still surprising me. You remember that Yaris game? I booted it up the other day. It’s terrible, but we love it.”
Things took a sad turn as Franks speculated the longevity of this rekindled love.
“My 360 isn’t doing well,” Franks shared between sniffles. “It’s wrapped in a towel and everything is fine now, but there’s no telling when things will take a turn. I’m not going to obsess over time lost or wasted. I’m going to focus on right now and enjoy what time we have left together. You never know when your last ‘goodbye’ is going to be.”
At press time Franks had not responded to our last two Xbox party chat invites.
