WASHINGTON — Newly single gamer Eric Hall has redownloaded the indie gem Disco Elysium despite his own frequent assertions that he is handling his recent breakup well, concerned sources report.
“Really, I’m doing fine. I’m bummed it ended with Nellie, and especially that it ended the way it did for sure, but it’s nothing that a little gaming can’t take my mind off of,” Hall insisted as his eyes remained fixed on screen. “I’m not even playing the side quests about being an unlovable shell of a man that breaks anything he touches, honest, I’m just focused on the ones about societal collapse. It’s a neat game with cool art that’s helping me take my mind off things, that’s all”.
Hall’s roommate Greg Vail disputes these claims, believing that Hall is, if anything, focusing on the relationship-based story lines even more.
“Eric has replayed the part where Harry talks to the God of the religion he used to fervently believe then lapsed out of who looks exactly like his ex-wife over and over,” contends Vail. “Her face is practically burned into his monitor, he has a save game that starts exactly at the start of that conversation. Sometimes he’ll catch me watching over his shoulder and switch to a save where he’s telling a woman her husband died drunk in the night and she withers away in front of you at the news, and I can’t find a gentle enough way to tell him that’s not actually better.”
Investigations into Hall’s financial records indicate a recent purchase from Etsy seller Dierdre Moynighan, who specializes in Disco Elysium-style art.
“Mr. Hall indeed bought a framed print of Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi from me,” Moynighan confirmed in an email after reaching out to her. “I am not a mental health professional and cannot give a firm diagnosis on his mental state, but given that my Etsy page’s main sellers are Kim Kitsuragi prints and custom-made dolls that look like your ex with a voice box that says ‘I know you are’ after you tell it you’re sorry, I’d say no one has ever made a purchase from me because they’re doing well.”
At press time Mr Hall declined to comment further to reporters, only holding up a piece of paper reading “COMPOSURE [Difficult: Failure]” and staring desperately at his print of Mr. Kisturagi.
