CARY, N.C. — Epic Games and Shell gasoline have teamed up to promote an exciting new Fortnite campaign that encourages gamers and children to inhale Shell brand gasoline in order to get intoxicated and enjoy the game more, sources have confirmed.
“Obviously the pivot to hybrid and electric has been tough to navigate,” said Wael Sawan, CEO of the Shell Corporation. “But we’re always looking ahead here at Shell. We realize the path to a new generation of loyal customers isn’t going to be paved with more efficient practices than our competitors. Nope, we want these kids to get high on our shit while they play Fortnite. That’s the ticket, right there.”
Representatives from Epic were proud to announce the collaboration.
“From John Wick to your favorite Marvel characters, Fortnite has long been a haven for the best and coolest things in the world,” said Tim Sweeney, CEO of Epic, which recently laid off 20 percent of its workforce. “And now, players will get to experience a cleaner and longer lasting high than any of Shell’s leading competitors. I’ve tried this stuff, and believe me when I say, it’s the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.”
In addition to pro-gas huffing commercials and in-game advertisements, Epic and Shell have also teamed up to recruit popular streamers and influencers to the campaign.
“Okay you guys, I’m gonna try it,” said popular streamer ShortyBearz, shortly before pouring some gasoline into a washcloth and inhaling deeply with it covering his mouth and nose. “Oh my god you guys, it totally works! Wow, I feel great and the music I was listening to sounds better all of the sudden. No more trips to the dispensary for me, I’m gonna get my rocks off at 3.50 a gallon from now on!”
“The best part about huffing gas while you play Fortnite is you can do them both at the same time,” he added, after nodding off for a few minutes.
As of press time, Fortnite had also introduced an exciting new feature where you pay real money for authentic Shell gasoline to put into your car.