NEW YORK — Gamers around the world have begun their seasonal migration back to their ancestral grounds of Fortnite, in a majestic ritual that renews the gaming community, nature experts report.
“On some level, all gamers feel the instinct to return home to Fortnite to spawn with other gamers in a Battle Royale. But sometimes that instinct is triggered in a bunch of gamers at once, usually because Epic added something cool like Goku, or got rid of something annoying like the building mechanic. That’s when the gamers migrate in droves,” said Elizabeth Gray, head of the National Audubon Society. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw it, when Fortnite did all the Thanos stuff in 2018. Everyone who had gotten tired of the game started coming back. I remember this one gamer, maybe 35 years old, dropped in for the first time in months and immediately started a heated argument with a small child. Nature is breathtaking.”
In addition to being one of the most beautiful natural events in the gaming world, the return to Fortnite plays a vital role in maintaining a healthy population of gamers across the globe.
“There are many subspecies of gamer, from the lowly Mobile Gamer — nothing more than a rodent, really — to the elusive Real Gamer, an awe-inspiring creature that has not been sighted in more than a decade and is feared extinct. These subspecies rarely interact outside of arguments on Facebook and Reddit,” said Gray, displaying an undated photograph of a suspected Real Gamer playing one of the Bungie Halo games. “But when everybody decides to play Fortnite again at the same time, gamers of every kind can mingle, create memes, get mad, spend $20 on a free game and complain about it—all the fascinating behaviors that make the gamer such a strange and beautiful creature.”
Local gamer Craig Franklin recently gave into his deeply rooted instinctual urge and heeded the call to Fortnite after not playing for a while.
“My buddies were playing again so I thought I’d get back into it. Ended up grabbing the Battle Pass and knocking out some challenges. I’ll probably get tired of it again soon but that’s cool. It’s fun,” said Franklin, apparently unaware that he was following a hardwired path in his genetic code that compels him to play Fortnite for at least a few weeks every 2 years or so. “Did you know there’s a ’no building’ mode now?”
Later reports indicated that the migration may already be slowing, as many gamers have decided to pick up the new Madden to see if it’s gotten any better.