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Fortnite’s Blanka Coming to Street Fighter 6

OSAKA, Japan — Capcom has confirmed the validity of a recent leak claiming to show the roster of their highly anticipated Street Fighter 6, confirming that Fortnite’s popular Blanka character is coming to the legendary fighting game’s next installment. 

“Wow, I can use Blanka from Fortnite in a fighting game?” asked Parker Tuckmann, an avid Fortnite player. “What’s that gonna be like? If he still has a bunch of guns and grenades and stuff, that hardly seems fair. But if they’re letting you just fuck around and play him as this beast man-thing, that could actually make for a really cool fighting game character. Either way, I can’t believe they’re going for it.“ 

The Blanka character, who was introduced to Fortnite in March of this year during Chapter 3: Season 2, seems like an atypical fit for the fighting game’s roster, which traditionally includes a wide variety of unmutated human fighters. 

“Yeah, it felt like a bit of a stretch at first, but we decided to go for it,” said Takayuki Nakayama, director of Street Fighter 6. “He’s just been so popular in Fortnite, and frankly, we want to get into the lucrative crossover business this time around. We have Ryu in Smash Bros, why can’t we have a Fortnite fighter in Street Fighter 6? You should see some of the sick moves we came up with for this bastard. Oh man, maybe we’ll get John Wick or one of the Ghostbusters in there next!” 

Fans who have been clamoring for the inclusion of Blanka for months were elated. 

“No way!” said Louis Williamson, one such vocal proponent of Blanka’s inclusion, said once the trailer premiered. “We’ve been demanding this for months, and I think they finally heard us. I knew they were bluffing when they said it wouldn’t happen. ‘Too big,’ my ass. Street Fighter 6 is gonna be the best game ever.” 

As of press time, it was heavily rumored that Fortnite’s Darth Vader would soon be starring in a Disney+ spinoff featuring the game’s popular character. 

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