CINCINNATI – Doug Flesner, an avid social scientist and non-gamer has successfully infiltrated a pack of wild gamers thanks to the GameScent device. Fleshner confirmed his new found status with the pack in a post on his blog.
“They weren’t easy to fool. I spent years covering myself in g-fuel, spritzing Mountain Dew Baja Blast on my neck, and emitting whiffs of loneliness, but it was never enough to get accepted into the pack,” Flesner wrote. “I finally got a breakthrough in the form of the GameScent device. Blending those previous scents with gunfire, sweat, and blood, thanks to a few hours of Call of Duty on my GameScent, I was finally accepted by the gamers.”
An infiltration such as this is unheard of from a pack we know so little about. Flesner goes on to discuss what he hopes to discover while with the gamers.
“My studies show this specific pack is impervious to the Woke Mind Virus. My hopes are to get one of them alone, dissect their brain for science, and design a Woke Mind Virus cure for the rest of mankind,” Flesner continued. “Until that time comes, I will study how they communicate and report my findings in this blog. There are rumblings of a places called r/KotakuinAction but I’ve yet to be invited into this sacred place.”
Studying gamers up close isn’t easy. Flesner admits to recent hardships to close out his post.
“I showered the first week and almost completely blew my cover. One of the alphas called me a ‘Chad’ repeatedly. To calm the pack down and keep my cover I had to shout a few gamer words I care not to repeat here,” Flesner wrote. “Science is messy, but if it means a cure for this virus, I’ll skip every shower and use every gamer word in the book.”
At press time, Flesner had gained mod status on r/KotakuinAction.
