You open your junk drawer and oh boy, not again. It seems your dad has thrown all of the stray cords in the house into one overstuffed drawer. Why has he done this, convenience? Laziness? Or perhaps he just didn’t know where else to shove ‘em all. Or what they all do for that matter!
You, of course, are different. You are not your father. You have knowledge and perhaps even nostalgia for every entwined and crumbled object that lies within this infamous drawer. That lucky silver dollar you found on the bus when you were twelve, your ex-girlfriend Janice’s scrunchie, and that off putting postcard from your uncle you don’t talk to anymore.
Of course, some of this paraphernalia is simply lying in purgatory in this drawer, many of them being all these ancient and mysterious cords. Here’s some help deciding which ones you can cast into their final resting place in the garbage or which ones deserve a chance at resurrection.
13. USB-A to USB-B
This may seem useful for devices like… printers? But printers are now wireless, paper copies are dead and you will never need one again. Keep it anyways.
12. 3-foot Ethernet Cable
This won’t even cover the distance from your PC to your router. The only useful Ethernet cables should be 10 feet to make it across the room, or 100 feet to make it over your neighbor’s place when Comcast decides to betray you. Anything else should be illegal. Keep.
11. 27 different Micro-USB cables of various lengths
You only have, like, one device left that needs Micro-USB. Do you need this many, truly? Yes, yes you do. Also, next time you need one just order another from Amazon. You can never have too many of these. You’re also going to want to make room for the 27 USB-C cables you will have within a year or two.
10. Aux to Aux
Apple got rid of them, but you will not. Must keep!
9. GORE® Unshielded Twisted Pair (24 AWG) Hook-Up Wires
Look, there’s no denying that private space travel is becoming a major industry and when this world becomes unlivable do you want to be left behind? It’s well documented that high quality wire and cable was essential to those missions to Mars. Hold onto this one if you have the space.
8. Apple 30-pin Connector
Let’s face it, your music taste has gone downhill since Limewire. You may need this the next time you get roasted by your own Spotify Wrapped. I’m sure your iPod Nano is in here somewhere.
7. Jumper Cables
These should be in your car. Why aren’t they in your car? Keep here anyways.
6. HDMI cords
Between your dual monitor gaming rig, 55” 4K OLED TV, portable screen, old laptop dedicated to piracy, dusty closet PS2, and your Luddite roommates, having any less than 16 HDMI cords is a mistake. Even if they are all broken. Keep anyways.
5. Gameboy Link Cable
You never know when your buddy Jeff from the 6th grade will show up and challenge you to a Link Battle rematch on FireRed. You don’t want to be caught unprepared at your 20 year reunion. Keep.
4. Frayed cable of unknown use or origin
This could go to something important. Keep.
3. RCA (Yellow/Red/White) Connector
Absolutely essential. There’s almost certainly, probably, still a VHS or pre-HDMI DVD player hiding in your house, how else will you watch Lion King 1 ½ again without it?
2. USB Breakaway Cable For Xbox 360 Wired Controller
You may remember these, the short cord that went from a typical USB-A to some never-before, and never-after seen, silly round doo-dad. Seemingly useless, but – compared to modern-day stick-drifting, bumper-breaking, plastic-component monstrosities – your 360 controller will outlive you and possibly your offspring.
1. The one cable you need right now
Wait, why isn’t this in here? Are you kidding me?!
