Press "Enter" to skip to content

Entire Friendship Based on Remembering ‘Zombies Ate My Neighbors’

TEMPE, Ariz. — Sources have confirmed that John Baker and Cassidy Goodrich still have not realized that their entire relationship was formed upon their shared memories of 1993’s cult classic video game Zombies Ate My Neighbors.

“That was the best fucking game, do you remember how fucking fun that game was?” Baker was overheard asking Goodrich recently, in one of their regular conversations about the title. “That game had such a good mix of gameplay, style, and humor. They should put it up on Switch or do a remake or something. I know I say that every week, but still, they should.” 

In addition to meeting up in various bars and restaurants around the city to discuss the beloved Lucasarts action/shooter title, the duo also share frequent texts about various aspects of the game they haven’t thought about in a while. 

“Omg dude, the giant fucking baby,” read a recent text message sent by Goodrich at two o’clock  in the morning. “I played for days trying to beat that thing. So cool. Gonna get some sleep now, text me abt ZAMN when u get up.” 

Though the friendship has endured strongly for the better part of a decade, Goodrich fears that life’s responsibilities will soon get in the way of his youthful passions. 

“Since I got married and had a kid, I’ve had a lot less time to just sit around and remember shit that I used to do,” said Goodrich. “I’m sure that makes me boring to a lot of people, but I don’t care. There’s more to life than sitting around thinking about video games you played a few decades ago. I’m a parent now, so I have to care about the dumb shit my child likes, not the dumb shit I used to like.” 

Most of this information came as a surprise to Baker. 

“Wait, my best friend has a kid?!” he asked upon being told of Goodrich’s remarks.

Check out the newest episode of the Hard Drive podcast where we watch and discuss every episode of 1989’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Every day publishing a website is constant pain. Support our continued suffering today!
Become a patron at Patreon!