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EA Sends Tone Deaf Email Asking Gamers for $15

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — Electronic Arts has upset many of its long-time supporters by sending a tone-deaf email asking gamers to pledge $15 to them for no discernible reason at a time most of them are underwhelmed with their offerings.

“Hey gamers, it’s us,” began the egregious fundraising email sent to over 60 million gamers that had previously registered an EA product. “We are in between marquee releases and high profile DLC rollouts right now, and we were just checking in and wondering if we could count on you for a one time pledge of $15? The funds will go towards making sure we continue to deliver you the best games year in and year out, and frankly we can’t do it without the support of grassroots gamers such as yourself.” 

Gamers everywhere said this was the final straw for them supporting the software giant, who’s name has in recent years become synonymous with boundaryless microtransactions and frustrating decision making. 

“Wow, this is just so typical of them,” said Ed McCall, one of many gamers to be offended upon receiving the email. “I’ve been stuck playing their football game for years because it’s literally the only option, but now they’re just cold calling and asking for money? This seems like if we keep rewarding them, they’re never going to learn and change themselves into a good game company. I’m gonna start playing modern Tecmo Super Bowl ROMs or something, fuck this.” 

Executives at EA stood by the decision to send out the email despite not having any new content to sell at the moment. 

“I understand where the backlash is coming from,” said Andrew Wilson, CEO of Electronic Arts. “But you have to understand, we here at EA depend on the support of gamers to ensure that we are able to release slightly different versions of games that should have been overhauled years ago. Without their support, that’s simply impossible. When we work together, we can make the gaming world a better place. But we just really need that $15, you know? That’s first and foremost.” 

As of press time, Wilson responded to the press’ questions about the controversial emails by taking a knee and reading a Maya Angelou poem.