BOCA CHICA, Texas — Divorced gamer and distinguished racist, Elon Musk, followed up his latest vitriolic post on X – The Everything App with an urgent plea for any of his ever expanding brood to return his calls.
After posting what can only be described as a lengthy racist manifesto on X – The Everything App, Musk lamented the lack of phone calls he has received from any of his 11 known children.
“The Woke Mind Virus has taken my children from me.” Musk said before retweeting an account under the username “HitlerLover88” that depicted an image we are unable to display in this publication. Musk, who has admitted in a legal deposition to using a secondary account pretending to be his toddler son, wrote on his own timeline, “Don’t cry, Space Dad. It’s not your fault the custody system is run by DEI hires,” Making readers wonder if he had accidentally posted on main.
X – The Everything App CEO Linda Yaccarino, responded to criticism of Musk’s post which has driven away all but the most questionable of advertisers, and left the site’s financial future in doubt.
“X’s mission has always been and will continue to be supporting free speech,” Yaccarino said. “While I don’t agree with much of the substance of his manifesto, I will defend to the death his right to post it.” When asked about the impact the owner’s erratic behavior has had on advertising Yaccarino replied, “X is proud of the ad partners we have, and look forward to working with more of them in the future. Where else can you find this many colloidal silver products advertised in one spot?”
Musk’s rabid fanbase were quick to defend him in the replies on his posts and offer their support for the controversial billionaire.
“I’d return your calls, Elon. I love you. If only I had been born a woman I would happily let you breed me,” wrote perennial Musk bootlicker Ian Miles Cheong
“Many Based Men go unappreciated in their time, but history will remember you fondly, Elon. I love you,” DogeDesigner quote tweeted.
At press time Musk was seen quote-tweeting several posts from an account promoting phrenology, calling their findings “interesting”.
