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Inscryption Booster Pack Just a Bunch of Loose Eyeballs and Knives

VANCOUVER — Indie darling card game Inscryption excited fans with its latest real-world merchandise, a card booster pack that purchasers with just a bunch of loose eyeballs and knives.

“I loved the game, so I rushed to buy the squishy, sharp foil booster pack at GameStop,” said Inscryption fan Mark Steeleman. “I opened it in my car, and immediately the pack just dumped a bunch of body fluid and rusty daggers all over my lap. I guess it’s accurate to the game, and that’s funny and cool and all, but these eyeballs look remarkably…human. Maybe it’s just the pack I got, or maybe I’m just bitter because all the knives I pulled were of ‘common’ rarity. Looking forward to seeing how they play, though!”

“Hoping I can get some teeth in another pack, though,” he added, “because I’m starting to get nervous the game expects me to be pulling my own.”

The unorthodox booster packs have already sent shockwaves through the collectible card game scene.

“I did a 300 pack unboxing on my YouTube channel, and while I got over a million views, I also got literal pounds of rotten human teeth and blood,” said YouTube unboxer Max Roberts. “I’m not sure how to actually play the card game, as the booster box was mostly weapons and body parts, but it was an exciting unbox nonetheless. I never knew what I was going to get, but sometimes I could feel rare pulls floating in the mushy, puss-seeping card packets before opening them.”

Inscription creator Daniel Mullins explained his reaction to seeing fans open the boosters.

“Fans of the game kept expressing that they wish there was a real table-top playable version of the card game, so we started harvesting organs from developers right away,” Mullins said. “It has been so rewarding to see people opening the packs and then letting out a shrill scream and they’re bombarded with knives and eyeballs. On the other hand, it’s also so cool to see avid collectors preserve their Inscryption booster packs for either pristine collectibility or to be used in police investigation.”

At press time, Inscryption teased a future fan event where fans could create their very own custom cards by getting their photo taken by a strange-looking polaroid camera.

This article is sponsored by Devolver Digital and if you’re one of the few people left who haven’t played Inscryption yet, oh man, you really gotta try it. It’s so cool. It’s basically a— actually, no, I don’t want to spoil it for you. You gotta play it for yourself. There’s one part where— no no no, sorry, I’m just gonna link you to the Steam page.