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Environmental Strategy Game ‘Terra Nil’ Rushed to Shelves Before Actual World Becomes Too Uninhabitable to Play It

CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Citing an emergency crunch due to the terrible state of the world, Devolver Digital has reportedly rushed its environmental strategy game Terra Nil to market before the world becomes too destroyed to play it.

Terra Nil is all about saving a broken, dilapidated landscape, and we’re so excited for people to play it. Although, with recent climate disasters, impending wars, and catastrophic pollution, we had to hurry to get it available before the real world became a broken, dilapidated landscape,” said creative director Evan Greenwood. “Every day, the lifespan of our game about fixing an uninhabitable planet is shortened by our real planet becoming more uninhabitable.”

Terra Nil developers at the company Free Lives went on to explain some of the challenges of creating the environmental strategy game.

“During production, we had to do a lot of problem solving like fixing code errors, streamlining menus, and putting out random environmental fires in our office as a result of climate change,” explained the game’s lead designer. “It was difficult doing bug fixes while landfills expanded into our office, and rising sea levels flooded our conference room. One time we finally had a working test build of the game, but it was useless after spontaneously combusting into flame. Despite all that, the game is pretty fun!”

Early players of Terra Nil noted some emotional responses to the gameplay.

“It’s crazy feeling like you have so much work ahead of you to repair this scorched, awful landscape, but now I can just relax by playing some Terra Nil,” beta tester Craig Grimsby said. “Although anyone expecting a real, down-to-Earth story should look elsewhere, because you really have to suspend your disbelief that anyone would care enough to try and reverse the destruction of humanity, much less for free.”

At press time, sources at Devolver Digital also reported that Terra Nil was crunched in production even harder to make sure the $24.99 price point wasn’t made completely worthless by impending inflation.

This article is sponsored by Devolver Digital! Yes, this article is satire, but there are two things about it that are true: (1) our world is currently being destroyed by devastating man-made climate change and (2) Terra Nil is a super cool game that you can get on Steam right now! Check that shit out, dog.