ST. LOUIS — A defeated gamer started a new save file on a game to play the tutorial he’d initially skipped, sources have confirmed.
“This is so embarrassing,” said local gamer Leon Hart, playing the tutorial for action/RPG Skies of Fire that he’d bypassed previously. “I figured I’ve played enough video games by now to figure out what was going on, but no way, I was absolutely screwed out there. They kept telling me to harvest the spirit stones of the guys I’d killed and nothing I did would work. I somehow pressed a button that made my character commit suicide along the way, and then I had to start it all over. Now why is that button even in there?”
The game’s developers were surprised to hear that the tutorial had been skipped by a veteran gamer.
“We’re not calling you stupid, we just want you to know what’s going on,” said Joy Hawes-Agnew, director of Skies of Fire. “If you’re willing to give us 40 to 60 hours of your time, I just don’t see why you wouldn’t spot us five minutes to show you how to use the targeting system. Controllers have a dozen buttons these days, wouldn’t you like to know what they all do?”
The defeated man apparently came back to the tutorial only as a last resort.
“I’ve never seen him eat crow like that,” said Michelle Hart, Leon’s wife. “He kept insisting that the game was made poorly, and then he even briefly convinced himself that it was simply in too buggy a state to be played. But I think the more he chewed on it he just realized he’d been a little obnoxious and really should just play the tutorial like I told him to. Sometimes they’re kinda funny!”
As of press time, Hart had waited until everyone went to bed to resume the Skies of Fire tutorial.
