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DEAL ALERT: You Caught Dad Coming Home With Lipstick on His Collar So Somebody’s Getting a PS5

CALLING ALL GAMERS! Despite the expensive price point and stocking difficulties, your prayers for a PS5 may have in fact just been answered: Daddy just came home with lipstick on his collar and stopped dead in his tracks seeing you sitting on the stairs.

The rumors are true! You were supposed to be in bed. It’s a school night, you had your pajamas on, and you wanted to sneak downstairs to give Daddy a hug when he came home from work. Little did you know, however, Dad came home with his belt undone and a distinct red smudge on his collar, and all you have to do is not tell Mommy what you saw in exchange for one of the most revolutionary consoles gaming has ever seen. We guess it’s not “too expensive” after all!

This deal won’t last long, so act fast. Dad said he would take us to Best Buy tomorrow after school as soon as he stops by his secretary Susan’s house for a couple hours. We’ll have to wait in the car while he takes some bottles of wine into Susan’s, but the thought of the breathtaking graphics and high-octane exclusive games the PlayStation 5 has to offer is more than enough to keep us entertained. 

This once-in-a-lifetime PlayStation deal is finally upon us, gamers! When Daddy emerges from Susan’s house sweaty and smelling like perfume, we’ll get to experience the watershed leap forward in graphic and multiplayer capability that the new PS5 has to offer.

HUGE UPDATE: The deal has just gotten even sweeter! While Mom may have been upset with the new PS5, she has decided to buy us a few brand new games for the next-gen console after we asked her what ‘’ is on her work laptop! Have fun gamers, and make sure that the console ends up with whatever parent has a better lawyer!