CINCINNATI — A video game journalist tasked with reviewing their third consecutive game set in a repeating time loop is reportedly starting to question the fabric of the reality around them.
“Every day is exactly the same lately, I swear,” said Aaron Welsh, who had recently been tasked with reviewing Deathloop, Lemnis Gate, and Twelve Minutes. “I wake up, I eat breakfast, I walk the dog, I log hours playing a video game set in a repeating time loop wherein I must observe and manipulate it and create waves that ripple out and change the outcome in exciting and creative ways, then I eat lunch. This is starting to feel like some kind of repeating simulation I’m stuck in. How do I break it?”
Welsh’s editor claimed that she initially didn’t notice the potential redundancy in the latest group of assigned titles to play through.
“Oh yeah, I can see where that would be a little disorienting,” said Rose Chambers, Editor-in-Chief of Games Et Cetera. “Especially since we let everyone start working remotely, I know how every day can feel the same. It’s important to break up your routines once in a while so you don’t go mad, you know? Maybe they should try sitting out on their porch while they spend all day by themselves playing one of the several games set inside a repeating time loop once in a while? Doesn’t that sound nice?”
Others confirmed that Welsh’s belief they’re stuck in a simulation may not be as far-fetched as it sounds.
“In a way, we’re all stuck in loops,” said Dr. Kira Booth, a renowned astrophysicist. “Theirs is just a little more obvious and blatant, what with the subject matter they’re dealing with. Next month when they have three Animal Crossing knockoffs to review are they going to feel the same way? No, I doubt it. They’ll slip back into the more subtle, harder to detect loops that most people’s lives consist of. In a way, we’re all stuck in loops.”
As of press time, Welsh had thrown their bed out of the window to see if it would reappear tomorrow.
