Press "Enter" to skip to content

Congress Blames Baby Formula Shortage on Violent Video Games

WASHINGTON —  Many members of the United States Congress have publicly blamed what they see as the clear cause of the nation’s ongoing baby formula shortage: violent video games. 

“It’s pretty obvious when you think about it,” said Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) on Fox News recently. “When you see how realistic these video games have gotten, they’re clearly a bad influence on our youth, and their morals and values are going straight down the drain. These violent video games are giving people the idea that it’s okay to, uh… not …stock enough baby formula. Mm-hmm. Think about it, we never had a baby formula shortage before video games, did we? I think we can all see who’s to blame here. It’s video games. Yet again. I’m just as mad about it as you are.”

When pressed for specific information regarding the correlation between the two matters, Cornyn abruptly exited the interview. Viewers of the segment were left mostly unconvinced.

“Still with the video games, huh?” Jenny Elkins, a longtime gamer. “If there were some video game that explicitly caused a borderline monopoly to exist on an essential household product that left it in no way equipped to handle recent global events, I’d say let’s blame that video game. But I don’t think that game exists. Maybe it’s time we had video game lobbyists so politicians can become convinced they’re worthwhile after all.” 

Gaming parents all over the country disagreed with the allegation as well. 

“Honestly, I resent the notion that video games have anything to do with the fact that the formula industry cannot keep up with the demand of parents across America,” said Emma Chalmers, a gamer and parent of three. “It’s just such a decades-old braindead reaction to any problem that could really use some constructive thought. The only thing my child’s formula has in common with a PlayStation is I can’t find either one of them on the shelves right now, so what in the hell are they even talking about?” 

As of press time, Congress had also blamed inflation, gas prices, civil unrest, and the day’s rainy weather on the video game industry.


Hello adventurer! Please collect five USD skins a month and head to our Patreon.
Become a patron at Patreon!