NEW YORK — A team of copyright lawyers at Nintendo have begun putting together a case against Luigi Mangione, although some members of the team are not completely sure why they are getting involved in the murder case.
“I’m just not entirely sure what I’m supposed to be doing here,” said Nintendo Copyright lawyer Don Winters. “Like, yeah, I’m no stranger to bleeding Nintendo fans dry for even thinking about putting something that looks like a 1-up mushroom on a grave. It’s the murder trial thing that’s kinda throwing me. The guy doesn’t even seem to be a Nintendo fan, so what’s the point? But the top brass said to sue so I’ll do what I can. I just don’t think they fully understand what this case is actually about. All they know is that it’s in the news and the guy’s name is unfortunately Nintendo property.”
With the trial now including the much more serious charge of infringing on Nintendo copyright, the judge laid out how the trial would likely go.
“Mr. Mangione will have his defense team sit to the right of the courtroom,” explained judge Anya De La Vega. “And the prosecution will be on the left. We plan on bringing in a third table, across from the jury, to put the Nintendo lawyers. We can proceed with the murder trial as usual, and the copyright lawyers will chip in with any objections or witnesses or whatever it is they do.”
Although Nintendo’s legal team isn’t sure how much they’ll be able to do in this murder trial, some members are excited for the experience.
“I’ve never been involved in a murder case before,” said lawyer Hayden Boone. “And most of our other cases get settled outside of court. The thing that excited me most about this case is finally being able to tell my family that I’m involved in a normal CEO murder case. Usually when I try to explain my work to them they don’t understand. Shutting down a passion project a loyal fan spent years of time building as an object of love to our properties and slapping them with a million dollar fine is just as important if not more important than convincing a guy to murder.”
At press time, Mangione’s defense team have revealed that they are much less confident now that Nintendo is involved.
