Press "Enter" to skip to content

‘Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla’ Designed, Developed and Produced by Multicultural Team of Various Weird Sword Dudes

MONTREAL — Ubisoft has taken a diverse approach to their upcoming Norse-themed video game Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, making sure to hire a multicultural team of various guys who are really into swords.

“We would never make a game about the Vikings without consulting with the most devoted scholars of their history and culture,” said Ubisoft recruiter Jenny Wells. “That’s why we spared no expense gathering the latest and greatest dudes with big ol’ swords at home.”

While major video game developers are known for their highly competitive hiring practices, Ubisoft had to alter their process to attract the right people for the job.

“We asked a few women on our staff to put on Yggdrasil shirts and head over to the local barcade. Any guy who walked up totally unprompted and explained what that word means, we gave them a job on the spot,” said Wells, who has spent more than ten years searching for the best programmers, artists and writers in the industry. “Well, we did do a brief interview to make sure they all had swords. They did, of course. Every last one.”

Ubisoft is known for putting a disclaimer on Assassin’s Creed games, emphasizing the multicultural nature of their design staff. The sword guys working on Valhalla have reportedly been pleased with the depth or representation.

“I figured they would just have one or two people like me, and I’d end up feeling like a token,” said Jack Sutherland, a local gamer who was between jobs at the time of hiring. “But then I saw they not only had a couple beefcake God of War players like me, but also some bearded Neil Gaiman superfans, and some lanky fedora guys who keep talking about how they were born at the wrong time. It’s just … it’s really nice to feel seen.”

Sources claim there is already conflict in the studio, however, as the sword guys insisted the Vikings would never make an open-world fantasy RPG video game where you can be a woman.

Listen to the newest episode of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour: