NOVATO, Calif — While details on the game itself are still being kept under wraps, 2K has officially announced the cover star of the next installment of its PGA Tour game series. Arnold Palmer’s huge dong.
2K Representative Robert Garrett made the official announcement in a press release.
“As we gear up to release the next installment in the PGA Tour series we need a cover star who not only represents the sport but will also get people excited and draw in new gamers to the series. And after a long, hard discussion at 2K we made the decision that our cover star will also be long and hard. We are proud to announce that legend of the links Arnold Palmer’s penis will be gracing the cover of our next game.”
Garrett broke down what led to Palmer’s famously massive dong to be chosen to grace the cover of the game.
“Well for this entry, we really wanted to honor the history of the sport so we needed a legend amongst legends to grace the cover. While there are a lot of golfers who match that criteria, nothing in golf history is as legendary as Palmer’s huge hog. That thing would bring other legends of the sport to their knees in amazement. It was awe inspiring. And that’s what we want the cover to be, awe inspiring.”
Not much is known about the game yet but Garrett did reveal that in addition to being the cover star Palmer’s pythonic penis would also get its own showcase mode in the game.
“We want players to not just be a witness of the legendary penis but we want them to experience its place in golf history. In the Arnold Palmer’s Schlong Showcase mode players will get to relive historic moments throughout the career of Palmer’s gigantic genitalia. From 1955 to 1973 Palmer won 62 PGA Tours and players will get to relive each and every time he blew away his colleagues in the showers afterwards. It’s a great way to get players to learn about the history of the sport.”
At press time, Donald Trump had reportedly pre-ordered multiple copies of the game.
