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Anti-Microtransaction Gamer Actually Just Nostalgic for When Parents Paid for Frivolous DLC

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – Gina Wells who regularly complains about microtransactions on her Twitch channel to her viewers has confirmed in a recent stream that she’s actually just nostalgic for the time when her parents paid for her DLCs.

Wells revealed this information amid a tirade against Dragon’s Dogma 2’s microtransactions.

“I refuse to pay for DLC. Why the hell should I pay to change the appearance of my character, when it should be my parents paying for me to change the appearance of my character,” Wells lamented to her viewers, who were busy throwing bits and subscriptions at her en masse. “I just don’t see their problem. I paid seventy bucks for the game. The least they can do is throw in forty-two bucks so I can have everything the game has to offer from the start?”

“So now I have to assume Dragon’s Dogma 2’s DLC is trash because my dad took his credit card off my Steam account before I could purchase any of it,” Wells continued. “DLC used to be something really special. It felt like it expanded everything and the best part? It was free to me. Look at all the Sims expansions, the easy fatalities in Mortal Kombat X, and the horse armor in Oblivion. Amazing.”

Wells’s stream was interrupted by a phone call from her mom, which she took on speakerphone during the stream.

“Honey, we’re not doing any more Dragon Dog stuff,” said Wells’s mom. “We agreed that when you were old enough to come off our insurance, you’d be old enough to pay for your own games and extra game stuff. Also — you need to get your own HBO account. Your father and I got into an argument about who was watching this Euphoria smut. We can’t have that popping up in our feed when we have guests over to watch Bill Maher.”

Mark Hearns, a spokesperson for Capcom, encouraged parents to consider supporting their adult children with DLC purchases.

“To all the parents out there considering making a purchase of Dragon’s Dogma 2 DLC for your children: you won’t regret it,” Hearns said. “Even if those children are adults, and even if they should really be purchasing things with the money they make on their own. It’s about sharing those moments — moments when your adult child takes your money without you knowing what it was for, and without them understanding the actual value of your time.”

At press time, Wells had hopped offstream to finish Euphoria before her parents could lock her out of their account.

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