After being bombarded with negative reviews, Capcom shocked gamers today by locking reviews for Dragon’s Dogma 2 behind a set of micro-transactions, sources confirmed.
“Unfortunately the average gamer refuses to think of the shareholders when they absolutely hog-blast our games in their reviews,” said Kenzo Tsujimoto, Capcom’s CEO. “And it’s our duty to focus on the long-term fiscal health of the company, regardless of their puny feelings. So we’ve decided to implement this new feature to offset the impact of these baseless claims on our bottom line.”
The move is being met with disapproval among the fanbase, who expect the bludgeoning of a company’s reputation to forever come gratis.
“First it was pay to play, then it was pay to win, now it’s pay to hate? What’s next!?” exclaimed frustrated gamer Rusty Wilkinson. “This B.S. move by Capcom is anti-first amendment and anti-ownership. If I buy a game, I also buy the right to shit on it. Telling a company they’ve gone and messed with the wrong guy, and you’ll never, NEVER buy a game of theirs again, is something that’s my right to say as a god-fearing American.”
Other gamers took Capcom’s side, perhaps blinded by an upbringing in a world where micro-transactions have become normalized. We reached out to Kelsey Fletcher, a self-proclaimed Capcom fan girl.
“Capcom simply wants to ensure that the people leaving a review are passionate about leaving a review,” said Fletcher. “You can easily earn your review by just playing a few hours of the game anyway. You get it in the second town. Takes a few hours. Only suckers actually pay for it.”
We reached out to Capcom at press time for further comment but they asked for an extra $4.99 in “Capcom Crystals” for a response.
