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YouTuber Starts Separate Channel Just for Apology Videos

LOS ANGELES — Following a cavalcade of off-the-cuff apology videos for everything from offending ferret owners to dating a minor, YouTube-lifestyle-vlogger-slash-prankster-extraordinaire David Patterson, also known as SuperVGMan64, has reportedly started a second channel, “David Patterson Apologies,” where he says all future apology videos addressed to his fans and the online community at large will reside.

“Hey y’all, welcome to the new official home of David Patterson apology videos, and I’m so sorry for whatever has brought you here,” said Patterson in the pinned video on his new channel while sitting atop a dirt bike in the middle of the unfurnished $6.5 million Beverly Hills Estate he rents with five other influencers. “For example, I’ll probably have to put out another apology next week when I drop my ‘buying unwanted cosmetic surgeries for the homeless’ prank, so you’ll probably be able to find that here when it drops. I figured it’d be best to just launch a channel specifically for apologies to you pussy ass bitches. I’m sorry for calling you pussy ass bitches just now, by the way.”

Patterson, who started his original channel in 2019 and rapidly gained over 1 million subscribers in only three months, says that he attracted fans originally through his charmingly boyish pranks, cute youthful look, inherited wealth, and the confidence he has to do whatever he wants with minimal repercussions as long as he delivers a halfhearted apology on camera afterwards.

“Within weeks of reaching the million-subscriber mark, I dropped my first big public apology video, ‘I’m Sorry, Black People,’ and the full-resolution version of that video will be uploaded to my new channel for posterity,” Patterson continued. “Next week we’ll also be re-uploading the official high res version of my second apology video, ‘I’m Also Sorry To Puerto Ricans.’ Neither video satisfied either community it was aimed towards, of course, but I hope everyone who’s still upset will like, subscribe, and most importantly comment on the videos so that way we can create a dialogue that will lead to rapid subscriber growth and more organic reach for my content than ever.” 

Since his first two sorry videos, the controversial star has seemingly had to apologize to every marginalized community in video form one or more times. 89 of Patterson’s 103 uploads are apology videos, with the most-viewed video featuring him doing molly in a jacuzzi at an Aspen cabin while apologizing to people with depression. 

At press time, a new clip uploaded to Patterson’s apology channel noted that all upcoming apologies would be brought to you by Carl’s Jr.