ATLANTA — A man’s newly purchased Steam Deck has given him the exciting option to neglect hundreds of games on the go, or from the comfort of his couch, sources have confirmed.
“This is fantastic,” said local gamer Bill Tomlin, taking his newly purchased Steam Deck out of its box. “Normally, I only feel bad about still not having played Elden Ring yet when I’m sitting at my PC, but now I can feel the burden of that plus the literal hundreds of other unplayed games my library anywhere I go. So cool. I can’t wait to take this thing up to bed and get anxiety about how much money I’ve spent on games I didn’t play right before I go to sleep.”
Valve executives said player’s massive backlogs were something they kept in mind when designing the popular handheld device.
“We know today’s gamer: on the go and wrecked with guilt,” said Gabe Newell co-founder and president of Valve. “So now you can throw the Steam Deck in your bag and spend your 30 minute morning commute stressing out about which game you should even open. It’s truly the PC gaming experience on the go.”
As of press time, Tomlin had browsed the Steam store while riding to work and bought Hi-Fi Rush, Dave the Diver, and Street Fighter 6, before ultimately just booting up Vampire Survivors again.