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Remote Worker Will Get Right on That After They Smoke Every Last Speck of Weed in Apartment

NEW YORK — Work-from-home designer Kenny Davidson will reportedly answer that email right away, as soon as he consumes all the marijuana in his possession.

“I checked my inbox, and it looks like my boss wants me to change the font on that logo again. I’m going to jump right on that,” said Davidson, packing a monster bowl for his gravity bong at 11:30 in the morning. “Just need to take care of something real quick.”

Davidson has been working remotely since the early days of the pandemic, leading to a better work/life balance and more time for leisure activities.

“Yeah, it’s nice not to have my life revolve around work. I’m just as productive, but a lot happier since I can dedicate more time to things I really care about,” he said, scraping the last bits of kief from the bottom of his grinder with a penny and crumbling it on top of the bowl. “Overall, I’m just a better version of myself when I have autonomy. One second,” he added, taking an absolutely vicious rip of that good good and coughing for about a minute straight.

“Okay, I got myself a font to change,” Davidson said. “Alright, done.” He then decided to reward himself by ordering more weed.

Davidson’s boss could not be reached for comment this morning, as he was too drunk to answer the phone.

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