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OpenAI Rehires Sam Altman After Realizing He Personally Responded to Every ChatGPT Query

After a sudden board coup on Friday, Sam Altman is in talks with OpenAI to return as CEO after they discovered he was personally responding to every ChatGPT query.

“Most people think ChatGPT is some sort of genius AI, which is really flattering considering it’s just me going absolutely ham on my laptop,” said Altman. “Do you know how many Robert Frost poems I’ve had to read? All of them. It would cost millions of dollars to pay someone else to read all that training data, and even more to make an actual AI model. Does anyone even know how those things work?”

A spokesperson for OpenAI Gave an interview to tell their side of the story.

“We were really surprised to see that ChatGPT just stopped working after we fired Sam. I mean, who could have known?,” One board member said under the condition of anonymity. “I mean I definitely saw him checking his phone a lot during the congressional hearings and it seemed like he never slept or took breaks of any kind, but this is a little ridiculous.”

Microsoft Representatives also responded to the rumors.

“We saw through him from day one, which was why we were so furious when the board undermined us and shitcanned him. He was our golden goose. Find us somebody else that can type at 21,392 words per second on their phone, and we’ll talk.”

At press time, Altman was seen rapidly typing on two phones at once in order to make up for the missed hours.

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