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DEAL ALERT: Guy at Self Checkout Not Looking

What’s up, deal-hounds? We’ve just stumbled upon the ultimate life hack that could turn an average full price sale into the bargain of a lifetime, and we’re passing it on to you. Right now, for probably like the next 30 seconds while he’s looking at his phone, the guy working the kiosk at the Walmart self checkout isn’t looking. It’s open season!

If you get a head of romaine lettuce, you can also get a copy of the PS5 title of your choice free of charge. Talk about BOGO! All you have to do is weigh the case on the scale instead of the lettuce, and boom — the deal is sealed. If anyone asks to see your receipt, just tell them to call the cops! They won’t, they never do. Nobody cares!

This unprecedented store-wide sale has a unique selling point in that it’s applicable to almost ALL inventory, limited only to what you can conveniently hide at the bottom of the bag or your inner coat pocket. There’s even a 2 for 1 angle with all Blu-Rays and DVDs. If you have one that’s more expensive than the other, just stack the cheap one on the bottom and hold ‘em real tight and flush so it looks like one case! This is totally allowed, and they’re cool with it!

It’s also been announced that this deal is applicable to all week days with heavy traffic and Saturdays from opening till like, lunch. Really any day where that whole area is fucked and the flustered teens working are too busy helping someone find bananas in the produce inventory look up to notice you. Inflation, schminflation — Walmart has you covered!

Folks, let me tell you, this is the kind of deal you can only get at Walmart. Other rinky dink, independent places with bullshit like “overhead,” “loss prevention,” and “paying a liveable wage” couldn’t in a million years get away with the insane savings Walmart provides its customers. So act fast, but not too fast. You don’t wanna draw attention.