One of the most satisfying elements of Dungeons & Dragons is seeing your unique character level into a triumphant hero or a cunning rogue. With the flexible or exploitable nature of certain rules, some builds are seen as overpowered or even accused of breaking the game. As someone who has been a Dungeon Master for ten years, I’ve seen quite a few groups break apart because of overpowered builds.
The build that is often the target of such claims is “the DM’s New Girlfriend”, a powerful but extremely controversial playstyle in which you min-max your rolls by having a new romantic/sexual relationship with the Dungeon Master. These builds are often capable of inexplicable feats that rival the lesser gods of the multiverse. However, there are totally valid, lore-friendly reasons that this build is so powerful that will make you stop saying I’m giving her preferential treatment because I’m not.
#6. Critical Successes on Every Charisma Check Without Rolling
No matter the NPC, be it a goblin or the King of Neverwinter, this build seems to hit it off with everyone without rolling a single die. This is because the “DM’s New Girlfriend” is, like, super funny and smart and pretty and cool and stuff. She can convince anyone to hand over their gold or priceless artifacts because of her innate charisma. The entire party will be left speechless when they see her have a thirty-minute, sexually charged conversation with a handsome centaur.
#5. I Told Her If She Played with Us She Could Be Sailor Moon
Part of the fun of roleplaying is being any character you can imagine! “The DM’s New Girlfriend” build has a unique feature called “I told her if she played with us she could be Sailor Moon” that allows her to choose races/classes unavailable to other builds that are from entirely different franchises. If, for example, “the DM’s New Girlfriend” decides to play as Sailor Moon, which is technically lore-friendly because it doesn’t say anywhere in the rules that she can’t be Sailor Moon, then it doesn’t ‘ruin the tone’ because we can just say she’s from the multiverse.
#4. Dice that Fall on the Floor Are Always ‘Nat 20’
Vecna isn’t called ‘Archlich’ for nothing! Many of his spells are capable of one-shotting low-level characters like “the DM’s New Girlfriend”. However, another handy class feature of this build is the ability to consistently roll natural 20’s so long as the d20 falls on the floor and nobody else but the DM sees it when he picks it up. This makes “the DM’s New Girlfriend” an absolutely essential member of the party during boss encounters and why everyone needs to be cool around her so she doesn’t think we’re lame.
#3. Comes With Incredibly Wealthy and Handsome Benefactor That Looks Like the DM
When designing a new character, it’s important to incorporate a captivating backstory that breathes life into their journey. It’s important to answer the question of what your character was doing before the adventure. “The DM’s New Girlfriend” allows for the option to start with an incredibly wealthy and handsome benefactor who appears inexplicably to assist her when things go sideways. In essence, this character is a walking deus ex machina for whenever she accidentally gets the party arrested for murder or unleashes an eldritch horror from planes unknown to mortals. Did I mention the benefactor looks strikingly like the DM and is handsome and cool?
#2. Able to Thrive On Solo Adventures Without the Main Party’s Nonsense
One of the areas in which “the DM’s New Girlfriend” shines is when the rest of your players get frustrated and ditch her after she accidentally kills their favorite NPC. First of all, it was hilarious, second of all, it’s just a game and they don’t need to be so dramatic. Luckily this build gets several new feats when travelling alone which include not needing to roll dice anymore and just killing everything she wants instantly.
#1. Can End the Entire Campaign with One Ability
Possibly the most powerful ability in 5e, “the DM’s New Girlfriend” can spontaneously end the campaign all at once by standing up at the table, calling the DM ‘controlling’ and ‘obsessive’, and then leaving. Once activated, this ability instills the ‘crippling depression’ status effect on the DM which effectively ends the campaign as he can’t get out of bed for several months. Since this effectively undoes the reality of the game world, this power is considered a level 20 transmutation spell available at level one. Talk about raw potential!
