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D&D Player Spends Hours Picking Dice to Match Character They Made in 25 Minutes

A BASEMENT — A local Dungeons & Dragons player reportedly has spent several hours isolated in their basement focused on picking out the correct dice to match their new character, which was made in 25 minutes as a joke.

“Look I understand some may say I’m overthinking this, but all I’m doing is making sure I can enjoy this game as much as possible,” said Timothy Gaines, longtime D&D player. ”Just because my character ‘Sbeve’ was largely made from hitting randomize on D&D Beyond doesn’t mean I shouldn’t put some thought into how I play him. Besides, I’ve spent so much money on dice it’d be wasteful to not spend so much time making sure it fits.”

While Gaines refused to disclose exactly how much they spent on dice, a local game store owner does recall them as a frequent customer.

“Typically they walk in here whenever they get some bonus, start a new game, or we get new dice in stock. I’m not sure how they always know about that last one but hey, so long as they keep spending their money here I’m not gonna question it,” said the owner of the store. “Besides, ain’t like I’m gonna throw them out. I got a kid going to college soon, and they are bankrolling that.”

Local game master Greg Greenwood noted this behavior was pretty typical not just for the player in question but for all at their table.

“I see it pretty much in all my players. Hardly any start a game with a dice combination that they’ve used before. Occasionally I get an oddball who has different dice for every session, but typically these hoarders aren’t too far gone and stick with one set a character,” Greenwood said. “I just wish some would put more thought into their characters rather than dice. I’m fine with simple, silly, goofy characters. However, when your party is all spell casters about as strong as a wet piece of paper, it makes combat a wee bit annoying for me to set up.”

At press time, Gaines was forced to create a new character after Sbeve died failing a constitution save while eating a piece of bread found on the ground.

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