It has come to my attention that there have been rumors swirling about me and how I enjoy eating dogs. That is absolutely not true, and I am insulted that anyone would ever make such fraudulent claims about me. But while I adamantly deny ever trying to take even one bite out of man’s best friend, I do sometimes wonder what they would taste like. Haven’t you? Come on! You can’t tell me that when you turn on the television and see a cartoon dog pop up on screen, your mouth doesn’t immediately pool with saliva and make you want to run down to the local dog pound to do some grocery shopping! Just me? Well, I promise you that once you read my list of the most delicious-looking cartoon dogs, you’ll have a change of heart. Actually more like a change of stomach.
10. Brian Griffin
He’s a little too left leaning for my taste. But then again, I do love roasting Dems. I’ll just make sure he’s a little extra crispy.
9. Santa’s Little Helper
While Santa’s Little Helper might taste good, there isn’t much of him to make a full meal. Look at him! Poor dog is starving. Just like I would be if I had him for dinner. Maybe I’ll just have him as an app.
8. Blue
I don’t typically like working for my meals, but searching for Blue would be a hunt I’d love to do. I mean, look at her ears! That cartilage must be so chewy. Mmm! I would solve a thousand clues to get a bite of those.
7. Goofy
Is he actually a dog? Only one way to find out.
6. CatDog
A two-for-one combo meal? Now that’s a deal, especially in this Biden economy. Once Trump is back in office, you’ll be able to finally eat your dogs and cats separately.
5. Pluto
Oh boy! Pluto would be a classic, comfort meal for me. Some would be grossed out by the fact that he plays with mice, but that doesn’t bother me. I like snacking on mice too.
4. Scooby Doo
Whenever I get the munchies, I always want to have my own Scooby snack. Great Danes are supposed to be one of the more muscular dogs and mixed with a little fat from all the snacks he scarfed down, he would be re-he-he-he-really delicious!
3. Clifford
87 tons of dog? Now that’s one epic food challenge. Move aside, Joey Chestnut. I’m the dog-eating king now.
2. Snoopy
Adding him to the Halloween chili, you and your sibling pulling on each end of his wishbone during Thanksgiving, or carving into him on Christmas. It wouldn’t be the holidays without this tender treat on your plate.
1. Bluey
Now, this dog is an Australian delicacy your whole family would love to sit around the table for. Throughout my life, I have been fortunate enough to have tried kangaroo, koala and dingo. But I would do anything—ANYTHING—to have a taste of this gamey canine.
