WASHINGTON — Congress has continued its shocking admissions regarding our contact with alien life today, confirming that all of those Alienware PC’s are in fact made from extraterrestrial technology.
“I mean come on, have you seen those things,” asked United States Representative Robert Garcia at a hearing earlier today. “There’s no way humans came up with something like that on our own. Computers are big ugly cubes that are off-white or gray, not crazy black light looking doodads that look like little Mountain Dew factories on the inside. We thought we were being way too obvious with those, especially considering the name we put them out under, but everyone just chalked it up to some cool engineers doing their thing. You couldn’t be more wrong though. It was aliens, all the way.”
Gamers were shocked at this most recent admission regarding humanity’s history with otherworldly life.
“Wow, I always wondered if we’d get technologically advanced things from an alien society one day,” said local gamer Jeff Masters, upon hearing the news. “And then suddenly I learn my big glowing computer that I spent my college loans on was actually a product from another galaxy. Hell yeah. I guess that’s why my rig was so much better than all of my roommate’s back then. Do you think they make consoles on their home planet, too? Or just PC’s?”
The head of Alienware confirmed the news.
“Well, the cat’s out of the bag,” said Nelson Gonzalez, co-founder of Alienware. “When we started this company we were just making components and stuff, and then one day this giant glowing crate landed in our lawn, and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t what became our first ever shipment of Alienware towers. Once in a while the aliens come down and take some money from us and they drop off some more computers. It’s really been a great system, and I hope it all being out in the public like this doesn’t screw it up.”
As of press time, congress had also confirmed that most of the alien’s UFOs had really cool RGB lights in them.
