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Opinion: Super Mario 3D World Is Not That Special, as Our World Is Also 3D

Instead of lauding Super Mario 3D World for being three-dimensional, wouldn’t it be more logical to direct our acclaim toward our world, which is also 3D?

Hi there folks, it’s me, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. And frankly, I don’t get all the hubbub around this Super Mario 3D World. This game’s very premise seems to be built on the fact that you, controlling Mario, can run around wide open 3D environments. Well, guess where else you can do that?

That’s right. The real world.

As a matter of fact, you could open up your front door right now, go outside, and frolic around to your heart’s desire, in three dimensions. There may be no “Big Bounce Byways” in your local area, but there’s definitely something even better: trees, which provide the oxygen we breathe as homo sapiens. Our world, which is also three-dimensional, deserves so much more of our time than these fake, virtual ones, which simply don’t hold up to logical analysis. For example, science tells us that our real world orbits the sun, which gives us life. In some of these “Mario” games, the sun tries to kill you! How nonsensical.

Now, I’m no gamer, but if the core appeal of Super Mario 3D World is simply that it’s 3D, then I think that’s rather unimpressive. However, I do find it intriguing that Mario can turn into a cat in the game. That’s impressive, and certainly not something we’ve seen in the real, tangible world. Not yet, at least. Technically, it’s always possible with science. Much more possible than the existence of God. (Don’t get me started on this God of War business.)

If you insist on playing one of these silly Mario games, I’d at least implore you to consider giving Super Mario Sunshine a look. That’s a game from the brief period where Mario seemed to both acknowledge and appreciate the importance of the sun to our planet. Or maybe Super Mario Odyssey! I wonder if they took inspiration from a certain astrophysicist’s documentary miniseries for that one? Haha, hey fellas, don’t be shy!

Regardless, I’d suggest you steer clear of this hugely overhyped Super Mario 3D World. And don’t waste your time with the terribly misleading Super Mario 64, either. There were provably fewer than 63 Marios before that.

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