Another holiday season is upon us and with it comes the yearly internet argument about whether or not all 7,740 hours of the landmark science fiction epic Star Trek: Voyager constitute a Christmas movie. Well, I am here to settle the argument once and for all. It is a Christmas movie.
If Voyager isn’t a really long, episodic Christmas movie, then why do I take the two weeks before Christmas off from my job to watch all seven seasons? Do you really think I would sit on my sofa for days on end living off nothing but sugar cookies and spiked eggnog unless it were actually a Christmas movie? Please.
I mean, first of all, Q literally turns the titular Voyager into a Christmas ornament at the 1,800 minute mark (or what you might call the 18th episode of the second season if you still haven’t accepted that these episodes are all part of a big Christmas movie.) And, while we’re at it, let’s talk about Q for a second: He’s a cheerful omnipotent, omniscient man typically dressed in red that visits the crew roughly once a year. Sound like someone else you know? (Hint: It’s Santa Claus!)
If the plucky, optimistic Neelix who serves as the ship’s Morale Officer and Chief Ambassador as well as its cook isn’t the embodiment of one of Santa’s elves, then no one is. Chakotay is a clear George Bailey arcitype with his drive to explore but Voyager always pulling him back in. Tom Paris and Kevin McCallister are clearly cut from the same cloth. And B’Elanna is so much like the Grinch she might has well have green skin. The Doctor, a seemingly magical being brought to life with the help of a mobile holographic emitter, is honestly kinda like Frosty and his magic Top Hat. Why are we even arguing about any of this?
And what about Naomi, the Half-human, half-Ktarian daughter of Samantha Wildman who died on Voyager but lived on the duplicate copy of Voyager? Obviously a thin allusion to the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The reason for the season. (Besides watching the classic Christmas film known as Star Trek: Voyager).
So, have I proven my point? Can we finally put this silly argument to rest? I really do have to get back to watching — Seven Of Nine just joined the crew, a real Ebenezer Scrooge if there ever was one… or maybe she’s more of a Snow Miser… no, wait, maybe she’s Doris Walker from Miracle on 34th Street!
Check out the newest episode of the Hard Drive podcast where we watch and discuss every episode of 1989’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!
