Hey there, Uncle Nick. Glad you were able to make it to the family cookout. I like your Kingdom Hearts t-shirt and the Triforce tattoo you’ve got just peeking out from under your sleeve. You look kinda tired — were you up late playing Fortnite or something? Boy, you certainly are a true gamer, huh? If that’s the case, you must have some pretty cool games on your phone. At least three, surely.
You got Subway Surfers on that bad boy? I’ve seen a bunch of videos of it when my mom lets me scroll TikTok on her iPad. I bet you’re some kind of expert player, right? Why don’t you show me how to play it? It’s just a tap away in your apps folder, after all. Any gamer worth his salt would have Subway Surfers on his phone.
I heard everybody’s been into Marvel Snap lately, so you must have that game. What’s your rarest card? You got some purples, hm? Maybe even a foil? Why don’t you just show me, and then I can try out a round or two to make sure you’re building your decks right. It shouldn’t be a problem, right? Since you know so much about games, you must have nailed it. A guy wearing a video game shirt should be better at Marvel Snap than a seven year old.
Have you ever heard of Pokémon Go? I mean, I’ve been to your apartment. I put your address into this website I found. It says there’s a gym and, like, three PokéStops right on your block. It would be pretty embarrassing if you didn’t have a level 50 account by now, you being a big shot gamer and all. We’ve got time before dinner. Why don’t we go for a little walk and you can teach me how to catch some Pokémon? You know, show me how you hit those curveball throws. I’m sure you must have perfected your technique, since you love video games so much.
Oh, you’re expecting an important message and need to keep your phone on you? Hah. Sure. Sure. Pretty convenient, but okay. Talk to you later, “gamer.”
