NIGHT CITY — A guy that recently joined the Aldecaldos is starting to suspect that nobody has a consistent idea of what any of their slang means, sources have confirmed.
“It was really overwhelming at first,” said Buzz Crenshaw, who recently joined the wandering nomad gang. “But then you realize everyone’s just winging it and it actually becomes kind of fun. Nobody knows the difference between a Weefle or a Linefoot or a fuckin’ hole in the ground. We’re all pretty sure ‘eddies,’ are money but once in a while I call it ‘flickers,’ and no one even notices. And I just made ‘flickers,’ up. These guys are my chooms and everything, but what a bunch of gonks.”
Many longtime residents of Night City have vocalized their dislike of today’s vernacular.
“When things got all crazy futuristic around here, the language was fine at first,” said Sue Johnson, a 94-year-old local. “Cyborg became ‘borg,’ ‘dorph’ was short for endorphins, it all made sense. Then one day my grandson said that I was no longer “Gato” and that I was reminding him of some kind of “Netpig.” When I asked him to clarify what he meant, he couldn’t do it. I threw him out of my house and uninstalled all my memories of him after that. No grandson of mine is gonna talk to me like some kind of asshole. Doesn’t surprise me to hear he ended up riding in some gang full of punks.”
Longtime members of the Aldecaldos confirmed off the record what Crenshaw had alleged; that nobody truly had a handle on the slang they used.
“I can’t believe no one’s ever noticed before,” said our anonymous source. “You don’t exactly have to be a Netrunner or a Ripper Doc to pick up on the fact that there’s something that doesn’t add up around here. Namely that nobody knows what anybody else is talking about half of the time, and it feels like we’re making the slang up as we go. It’s ‘haos, and I love it. Total grillio.”
As of press time, the Aldecaldos have issued an ominous press statement that no one could really understand. We think they’re gonna blow something up.
