We love the Nintendo 64 here at Hard Drive. Seriously, we played and reviewed every single game for the system! But more importantly than what we think: what does America think? Today we’ll take a look at what we’ve expertly determined are the most popular N64 games in each state of the US.
Alabama: NFL Blitz
Ain’t nothin’ those down home boys of Alabama love more than a good old fashioned game of football! Except for, of course, a game of football that is absolutely not old fashioned, where the players catch on fire sometimes and you can even dropkick a motherfucker to get the ball back.
Alaska: California Speed
Video games are a great form of escapism. And really, what else do Alaskans have besides pretending that they’re driving a hot rod down the sunny coast of California?
Arizona: Mario Golf
Golf is pretty popular in Arizona, but the links there hardly compare to those of the Mushroom Kingdom. And really, wouldn’t you rather tee off with Donkey Kong instead of some rich oil tycoon?
Arkansas: Doom 64
Maybe you forgot that one of the best Doom games is on the Nintendo 64? Well, the residents of Arkansas sure didn’t. “Check it out if you get a chance!” they’ll say. They know you probably won’t, though.
California: Space Station Silicon Valley
Californians prefer this fictionally idealized version of Silicon Valley instead of the actual dystopia that currently resides in their state. Or maybe they got the two mixed up? Oh, what’s the difference.
Colorado: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2
There hasn’t been anything to do in Colorado since the year 2000 besides smoke weed and play Tony Hawk 2 all day. But you know what? The residents of Colorado are pretty chill with that.
Connecticut: Conker’s Bad Fur Day
The crude language and potty humor of this game resonated greatly with the rough-around-the-edges citizens of Connecticut, who have also had to maneuver their way around a bad hangover or two in their time.
Delaware: Neon Genesis Evangelion 64
In a classic case of “you only want what you can’t have,” residents of Delaware love the Evangelion game for N64, which was never released stateside. Seriously, they’re huge fans! And they’re excited to play it for the first time.
Florida: Bio F.R.E.A.K.S.
I’m gonna be honest: I do NOT get what the people of Florida see in this game. It’s offensive, it’s disgusting, and quite frankly ass-backwards in its politics: the country falls, and everyone has to fight in a tournament to gain control over “Neo-Amerika”? Yeah, I don’t get it.
Georgia: Tonic Trouble
Is this game like a bargain bin Rayman or something? I don’t know, I’ve never played it. But Georgia loves Tonic Trouble, and the misadventures of the game’s protagonist: a janitor named Ed, according to the Wikipedia page!
Hawaii: Mario Party 3
Mario Party 3 was sort of like a swansong to the N64. One last hurrah, one last time to party until the roof came falling down and the big purple cube came to hog all the attention. Hawaii loves its assortment of minigames and the new implementation of the partner system, too.
Idaho: Turok
People love to hunt in Idaho, and what more dangerous game is there besides dinosaurs? And humans, of course. But this game is about hunting dinosaurs, with the clunkiest controls imaginable. Doesn’t bother Idaho, though.
Illinois: Banjo-Kazooie
I live in Illinois and I like this game. What? At least I’m honest.
Indiana: Indy Racing 2000
People from Indiana have no imagination apparently, and just like this game because of the Indy 500. Real original, guys. Maybe try expanding your interests beyond your state lines?
Iowa: Chameleon Twist
This little 3D-platformer-that-could is simply adored by citizens of Iowa. Seriously, if you go to Cedar Rapids and mention the game Chameleon Twist to someone, you’re guaranteed to make a friend or two.
Kansas: Harvest Moon 64
What do the people of Kansas love more than farming? That’s right: farming sims. Nothing better to unwind from your job than to play an idealized version of your job where you can romance your neighbors and hang out with forest spirits.
Kentucky: Bug’s Life
Weirdly enough, the citizens of Kentucky prefer the Bug’s Life video game to the Bug’s Life movie. I mean really, it kind of is one of the more forgettable entries in Pixar’s film library. Can you blame them?
Louisiana: Yoshi’s Story
The people of Louisiana sure do love their food! So the game where each level’s objective is to eat enough of food to progress, yeah that’s gonna be a big hit for them.
Maine: Goldeneye
The granddaddy of multiplayer FPS games, Goldeneye was and still is a smash hit in Maine. If you ask anyone from Maine if they’ve seen the Goldeneye movie, they’d say “wait, there’s a movie?”
Maryland: Buck Bumble
I think Maryland mostly likes this game for its boppin’ theme song and not for the actual gameplay itself. Seems like it gets radio play every other day, even. “Bum to the bum to the bum to the bass to the bum to the boom to the Bumble!”
Massachusetts: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
You can’t beat the classics, and no one knows that better than Massachusetts, whose favorite N64 game, favorite Zelda game, and favorite game of all-time period is The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. You ever tell someone there to maybe try out Breath of the Wild? Not gonna happen, they’ve dug their heels in on this one.
Michigan: Hybrid Heaven
Is it a fighting game? Is it an RPG? Who knows! Depending on whether you’re in the upper peninsula or the lower one, you’re going to get varying answers from the people of Michigan, who love this game either way.
Minnesota: Glover
It gets cold in Minnesota, so they need to wear gloves. That’s why they like Glover. What else do you want from me?
Mississippi: Diddy Kong Racing
“Dude, it’s way better than Mario Kart, seriously.” If you go into any bar in Mississippi, you’re guaranteed to hear someone say this line, praising Diddy Kong Racing as an underappreciated masterpiece. And come on– did Mario Kart 64 have an “adventure mode”? I don’t think so!
Missouri: Pokémon Stadium
Do NOT say that Pokémon Stadium is just a glorified 3D battle simulator of the Game Boy games to anyone within Missouri state lines. They’ll quickly remind you about how “fun” the minigame selection is, like they’ve never heard of Mario Party before.
Montana: Snowboard Kids
Snowboarding’s pretty popular in Montana, apparently. So it stands to reason that they really like Snowboard Kids up there, right? Okay, that tracks, moving on.
Nebraska: Rayman 2: The Great Escape
The people of Nebraska go nuts for the N64 version of Rayman 2: The Great Escape. They just wish that there would be a new Rayman game sometime soon too, and none of that, quote, “Raving Rabbids shit.”
Nevada: Super Smash Bros.
There’s nothing that the citizens of Las Vegas love more than a high stakes prize fight, and what better prize fighters are there than the iconic characters from throughout Nintendo’s rich library of games? My money’s on Ness!
New Hampshire: Final Fantasy VII
Listen, they just wouldn’t budge on this. They insisted on a PlayStation game for this list. New Hampshire really doesn’t like the Nintendo 64, I guess! What a pity.
New Jersey: Mario Kart 64
You ever try driving on the Jersey turnpike? It’s just about as chaotic as a round of Mario Kart 64, items and all. Traffic backed up? Honda Civic riding your ass? Nothing a good old fashioned lightning bolt or blue shell couldn’t handle.
New Mexico: WWF No Mercy
Wrestling is still having a big moment these days, and the citizens of New Mexico all agree that WWF No Mercy is the greatest wrestling video game there ever was and ever will be, god damn it. A great roster, great gameplay, and great memories of an era of wrestling that has long since come and gone.
New York: Super Mario 64
New York is still holding on tight to the canon that Mario is originally from Brooklyn, so they will defend him at any cost. “Oh, the graphics haven’t held up? The controls are ‘janky’? What the fuck’s the matta’ with you, this man is an honest blue collar worker! Show him some fuckin’ respect, how have you held up after almost 30 years?”
North Carolina: Wave Race 64
People from North Carolina really love showing off their jet skis, so there’s nothing they love playing more than Wave Race 64. Matter of fact, I don’t think they’ve played anything else since this game came out. The medium kinda peaked right there for them.
North Dakota: Monopoly
Why play the board game with all those extra pieces and that easily-losable fake paper money when you could just dig your N64 out of the closet, find some AV cables, and play Monopoly on your TV? North Dakota got that much right, at least.
Ohio: Star Fox 64
Ohio is the birthplace of aviation, so naturally they love cruising around the Lylat System in Fox’s Arwing, shooting down evil space monkeys and doing barrel rolls. Maybe it’s not exactly what the Wright brothers had in mind, but Ohioans are sure they’d love Star Fox 64 if they could have lived long enough to play it.
Oklahoma: Mischief Makers
Despite the mass exodus at the time of 2D platformers to 3D platformers, Mischief Makers bucked the trend and held onto the core fundamentals of classic 2D gaming, which are traditional values that Oklahomans both believe in and respect.
Oregon: Perfect Dark
Literally anybody in Portland will tell you that Perfect Dark vastly improves on what Goldeneye laid down for the 3D FPS genre. Matter of fact, they’re a bit bitter that it doesn’t get quite the same love as Goldeneye does today. Plus, it’s not a licensed adaptation, it’s a wholesale original property! That has to count for something, right?
Pennsylvania: Paper Mario
Yeah, it’s not Super Mario RPG 2. Who cares? Certainly not the residents of Pennsylvania, who love its charming graphics, fun story, and cute characters that tie the whole adventure together nicely. Disagree with that and you might find yourself in a back alley in Philly with a beer bottle smashed over your head.
Rhode Island: Pokémon Snap
Short, sweet, and to the point, much like the state of Rhode Island itself! This innovative point-and-shoot camera game is simply beloved by nearly everyone in Rhode Island. Even though there aren’t that many people there comparatively.
South Carolina: Star Wars Episode I: Racer
Forget drag racing, absolutely nothing compares to podracing in the eyes of South Carolinans. South Carolinians? Whatever. They love the movie Phantom Menace over there, and this high speed, high stakes thrill ride still holds up for them.
South Dakota: Pilotwings 64
The citizens of South Dakota are sick of staring at Mount Rushmore, and love that you can shoot someone out of a cannon at it in Pilotwings 64. They’re also voting to change one of the presidents’ heads to that of Mario’s, they love it so much.
Tennessee: Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber
I tried playing this game as a kid and didn’t get it because I was too dumb, I think. But the people of Tennessee sure do get it, though. It’s the most popular game there, probably because there weren’t a lot of other RPGs on the system. And as we all know, Tennessee loves their RPGs!
Texas: Donkey Kong 64
People complain that this game is too bloated, that it’s too big– well that’s no problem for Texans, because they love it big and messy! Matter of fact, there’s nothing they love more than a big collectathon with multiple playable characters and dozens of objectives to have to complete at all times. “Oooh, banana!”
Utah: Resident Evil 2
Sure, many citizens of Utah identify as mormons, and as such they may be a little more “prudish” than most, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love a good scare every now and then. And what’s scarier than flawlessly being able to fit two PlayStation discs’ worth of content on one single Nintendo 64 cartridge?! Absolutely nothing, that’s right!
Vermont: Banjo-Tooie
How do you improve upon perfection, one might ask? Make it bigger! More stuff! More things! Collect collect collect! Yeah, maybe this didn’t land with just about everyone, but Vermont loves Banjo-Tooie even if it may have been just a little bit over-ambitious.
Virginia: Bomberman 64
This is one of the best local multiplayer games of all time, a fact that clearly hasn’t gone over the heads of the fine folks of Virginia. The single-player campaign is fun too, sure, but man who doesn’t love trapping someone with bombs at the bottom of the pyramid level? Virginia never stopped playing this game, and I can’t blame them.
Washington: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
It’s moody, brooding, and mysterious, much like the citizens of the sun-starved state of Washington. Don’t even say you like Ocarina of Time better unless you want to catch a real nasty look from someone.
West Virginia: Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
A lot of people expected Kirby’s first 3D outing to happen on the Nintendo 64, but they would end up having to wait many years for that on the Nintendo Switch. Still though, the ability to combine Kirby’s power-ups sets this game apart from the pack, and West Virginia just loves that for them.
Wisconsin: Pokémon Puzzle League
What? Another Tetris Attack re-skin? No problem– the state of Wisconsin goes fucking nuts for falling puzzle block games, and when you add in the music and art of the wildly popular Pokémon anime series, that’s an absolute recipe for success. “2 B a Master… Pokémon Master!” Well, the midi version at least.
Wyoming: Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon
The state of Wyoming is a little sheltered to the outside world, as the square-shaped, landlocked state doesn’t tend to stand out from the pack. Still though, they love Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon and its far out, fantastical world. “Japan is so cool… I wish it were real!”
