#149. NBA Hoopz 

February 13, 2001
Eurocom
Midway Games

I’ve written about some version of this game no less than five times between this and the N64 list we did. Not to be an asshole, it’s nobody’s fault but my own, but I’m just out of shit. It’s one of the last permutations of the original NBA Jam franchise. Personally, I think the magic has sort of left the series by this point (the Orlando Magic are still in there, sorry if that was confusing), but maybe I’m just an old coot that grew up playing the SNES version. I don’t know. There’s personal fouls and free throws and shit. I don’t like it.

Hey, did you know after she won the first season of Flavor of Love, the woman known as Hoops dated Shaquille O’Neal for a while? The same guy what’s on the cover of Hoopz here. I just think that’s funny. If you asked Shaq what the word “Hoops,” made him think of, do you think he’d say this game or the girl? I bet it would be the girl. — M. Roebuck

#148. Star Wars: Demolition

November 19, 2000
Luxoflux
LucasArts

First, the good stuff. The story of Star Wars: Demolition (given through yellow space letters AND an FMV-like intro) is that Jabba, pissed that podracing has been outlawed, created a galactic demolition derby. He wrangles some ridiculously-named characters in a universe filled with ridiculously named things to destroy each other in vehicle battles on well-known planets. I giggled every time the camera swept by a chuckling Hutt as you selected your stage and character. There’s a great amount of options and unlockables, including Lobot and Sebulba’s grandson Pugwis (yes, Sebulba fucks). The music rules and I wish it was on Spotify.

Now the bad stuff. It’s disappointing this is one of only three Star Wars Dreamcast titles. It has garbage controls, with no way to reverse. Vigilante 8 is superior in every way (except Sebulba’s grandson Pugwis isn’t in Vigilante 8). It’s weird that everyone gets a vehicle except Boba Fett, who just flies around like a dummy. As cool as Hunt-A-Droid mode sounds, it gets old immediately. This is only worth going back to if you are a die-hard Star Wars fan, wish there was a SW-style expansion for Twisted Metal, or need to play as Sebulba’s grandson Pugwis. — J. Ruggiero

#147. Razor Freestyle Scooter

August 8, 2001
Titanium Studios
Crave Entertainment

This game must have seemed like a no-brainer back in the early 2000s: take an extreme sport, throw in a combo system, set it to a rad pop-punk soundtrack, and watch the money roll in. After all, it was working pretty well for Tony Hawk, Dave Mirra, and Kelly Slater. Unfortunately for Razor Freestyle Scooter, those guys took all the cool sports and all the good music. The gameplay loop mostly works, since it’s ripped straight from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, but everything else about it is just a little bit worse. The controls are loose, the graphics don’t compare well to the best Dreamcast games, and one of the tricks is literally just clapping your hands. The single player mode sees you scooting through a handful of uninspired levels, completing a generic list of challenges while listening to tunes by bands that the Warped Tour wouldn’t touch. It beats slamming your shin into the deck of a real Razor scooter, but you’re better off playing almost any other game in this genre. — K. Duggan

#146. Stupid Invaders

June 28, 2001
Xilam
UbiSoft

Within the first twenty minutes of Stupid Invaders, the player is forced to use some kind of caustic drain cleaner to dissolve Santa Claus into a puddle of green slime. The game begins by starting the War on Christmas, and ends with the total destruction of planet Earth. Who can we blame for this, you ask? The French.

Stupid Invaders is based on a French cartoon called Space Goofs (or Les Zinzins de l’Espace, if you prefer). The story follows a group of five potty-mouthed, dysfunctional aliens who crash-land on Earth: Bud Budiovitch, Candy Caramella, Etno Polino, Gorgious Klatoo, and Stereo Monovici. As a gross-out comedy from 2001, its sense of humor is about what you’d expect: you have the option to interact with the toilet and shit violently, for one (which some sound designer definitely had too much fun with). There are a few tacky jokes implying that Candy is a trans woman; hard to say if the original French script was worse, but having a tiny green booger alien be trans is… well, it certainly wasn’t happening often? Personally, I am choosing to believe that this is a game about a bunch of smooth-brained aliens squatting in an abandoned house watching TV, being transgender, having absolutely unhinged gay alien sex, and being hunted down by the government simply for the crime of existing. If that’s not relatable in 2023, I dunno what is.

In terms of gameplay, the absurd point and click logic is so egregious that it must be intentional sabotage on part of the developers. One puzzle solution involves grabbing a crowbar to pry open a coffin in the basement, revealing a slumbering zombie with a key stuck in its crusty, rigor mortis’d fingers. Obviously, the reasonable solution is to find a funnel, place in the zombie’s mouth, and feed a can of gelatinous sulfuric acid right down its throat, causing it to dissolve into goop.

And of course, the game ends with a convoluted sequence in which the aliens escape captivity in Area 52, and cause the total destruction of Earth in the process. It’s the only way this game could feasibly end – after playing it, any reasonable person would want to destroy the planet it came from, too. — L. Fisher

#145. Hoyle Casino

September 29, 2000
Sierra On-line
Sierra Attractions

Hoyle does a lot of things I thought Caesars Palace 2000 lacked, but also lacks something I didn’t realize Caeser’s offered: animation! Static images over people chattering while they play casino games is pretty shitty for a console game from the year 2000. The voice acting is funny-bad at first, but definitely wear thing after a while, especially when you’re waiting for a hand to play out. One guy said to me at the poker table, “This better be better than that flop I saw on Broadway after the war.” That’s just great writing. Also, the poker options are robust here, there are lots of great table options for each game, and I actually played craps for a little bit, which sort of feels like some unofficial test for a casino game. — M. Roebuck

#144. Omikron: The Nomad Soul

June 22, 2000
Quantic Dream
Eidos Interactive

It probably won’t surprise very many of you to read that David Cage’s debut game features everything but the kitchen sink, and doesn’t quite all come together, but definitely inspires a potentially morbid curiosity. An ambitious game that tries to do too much, the third-person exploring, first-person shooting, and fighting game stuff all are held back by bad controls. You’re doin’ too much, Omikron! It’s hard to say this is a good game, but I certainly can’t fault anybody for wanting to see everything this David Bowie-scored title has to offer. It’s certainly one of a kind. — M. Roebuck

#143. The King of Fighters: Dream Match 1999

October 16, 1999
SNK

The King of Fighters: Dream Match 1999 is the Dreamcast port of The King of Fighters ‘98. It was notable for running at 60 frames per second and the remade 3D backgrounds and not much else.

As a fighter, it’s not bad. It’s a definite hallmark of the Neo Geo but didn’t age well, even when it was initially ported. There was fierce competition in the fighting game scene on Dreamcast. Developers were either making strides into the 3D arena or polishing 2D fighters to the point of perfection. This was a time to be bold. A port simply wasn’t going to cut it.

The sprites used are blurry messes and the 3D backgrounds are novelties and don’t add anything to the game. There is a steep learning curve with each character in the vast roster and the computer is brutally difficult.

All of this combines into a game that wasn’t ever going to win over players new to the franchise. This feels like a problem that SNK has always had with the King of Fighters series. It’s a niche game with a die-hard audience that never makes itself more accessible to those that might be swayed which is a shame because characters like Iori, Athena, and Mai deserve a lot more love. — C. Dawson

#142. The Next Tetris: On-Line Edition

December 19, 2000
Blue Planet Software
Crave Entertainment

There’s only so much that can be said about a Tetris title. It’s a game that flourished on handhelds as it’s perfect for killing time while in transit or waiting for an appointment. As for a console title where one is expected to sit and dedicate time to it, Tetris tends to be a little less appealing.

The Next Tetris brings a new mode in which multicolored pieces can drop and create a cascade effect as different colored blocks will sift down when a row is completed. Additionally, players could battle head-to-head in local co-op or online. For the die-hard Tetris fan, this was a great way to play competitively. The only other thing of note is the 3D industrial menus which are apparently a tad too much for the Dreamcast to handle as it chugs when navigating. This is also felt to a lesser extent when placing pieces during actual gameplay.

I don’t know, it feels like studios are always trying to reinvent the wheel with Tetris when simply putting out a polished version with each generation would be more than enough. — C. Dawson

#141. Sega Marine Fishing

October 17, 2000
WOW Entertainment
Sega

Sega really went all in on the fishing games with the Dreamcast. “We spent too much money developing this damned plastic fishing reel! We need more fishing games!”

Sega Marine Fishing is an enjoyable game, but it doesn’t differ all that much from either of the Sega Bass Fishing games. Sure, there are bigger fish and the locales are beautiful but when boiled down, they’re all the same game. So, if you have one, there’s not really a need to get the other. I will say that Sega Marine Fishing lacks the frenetic energy of Sega Bass Fishing. Perhaps there isn’t simply as much money left over for copious amounts of cocaine when you need a small yacht and deep water fishing gear. That being said, players can always spice things up with Jimmy Buffett on the boombox and their dick slammed firmly in a can of tuna. — C. Dawson

#140. Re-Volt

December 17, 1999
Acclaim Studios London
Acclaim Entertainment

Like, I get the concept of why a game like Re-Volt would be made but it doesn’t make it any less confusing as to why people would buy it. It’s your standard kart racer complete with tracks that have shortcuts, jumps, and power-ups to interfere with your opponent’s racing. However, it’s all about RC cars. For the cost of this game, someone could get a starter RC car and start killing it in an empty parking loop or cul de sac.

The big thing about Re-Volt was its attention to realism and the physics of how RC cars actually handle. So, it’s not so much an arcade racer as it is a sim with some bells and whistles. Additionally, the included track editor is fairly robust and tracks can be traded via VMU like old-school Pokémon swapping. One could think of it like a Midwest seven. It looks good until you see what else the world has to offer.

Re-Volt isn’t a bad game and I don’t want to sound like I’m bagging on it unnecessarily. It just doesn’t do anything special and the concept isn’t all that unique. A game doesn’t need to be unique to be good but Re-Volt doesn’t nail the core mechanics to make it a viscerally enjoyable experience worthy of your time. — C. Dawson

#139. Blue Stinger 

September 9, 1999
Climax Graphics
Activision

Blue Stinger is a genre beerslam from Climax Graphics and the late Shinya Nishigaki, who’d go on to make Illbleed. A lot of people call Blue Stinger a survival horror game, because you fight creepy mutants and bullets are initially hard to find, but it isn’t really trying to scare you. Instead, it feels like that particular type of action B-movie where only half the cast was taking it seriously. Blue Stinger is the Space Mutiny of Dreamcast games.

More importantly, you play Blue Stinger as two guys and one is Dogs Bower, the single most divorced character in video game history. He sumo-wrestles plant monsters. He wears jorts. He has a bath scene. Half his dialogue involves calling the other protagonist an asshole. You do not have to be told that he’s hung over. Dogs is a hero and an icon, is what I’m saying. I should’ve been able to buy a lunchbox in Target with this guy’s face on it that was already full of Milwaukee’s Best.

Blue Stinger isn’t a great game, but it might’ve been more of a so-dumb-it’s-fun cult favorite if it wasn’t for Activision. As part of the deal to publish Blue Stinger in the U.S., it demanded that the game switch from Resident Evil-style static camera angles to a dynamic perspective, which follows you around like it’s drunk. That turns Blue Stinger from a cheerfully stupid C-minus sort of game into an irritating experience. If you’re looking to check it out, so you too can bask in the warm glow of Dogs Bower, grab the Japanese edition, which is still mostly in English. — Thomas Wilde

#138. Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX

November 21, 2000
Z-Axis
Acclaim Max Sports

Here’s a game that proves that Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater is so fun that even a relatively uninspired knockoff proves strangely worthwhile. It definitely takes a minute to settle into the groove of riding a bicycle instead of a skateboard. I spent roughly half of my time with this game riding in reverse wishing I wasn’t riding in reverse. This game is smart enough to slightly shake up the core THPS formula, though, and I really enjoyed the changes made. Each level has different tiers of goals, and unlike THPS, the game indicates when you are close to one of your objectives for the level. Additionally, any Tony Hawk knockoff has to have a good soundtrack, and folks, despite some odd choices holding it back from the top shelf, this one absolutely rips! Those odd choices would be using two different songs whose solo’s have to be altered because someone says “motherfucker,” during them (Rancid’s ‘Maxwell Murder’ and ‘Sublime’s What I Got’), and not using a single ska song. Whatever other flaws aside, without a ‘New Girl’ or a ‘Superman,’ this game never stood a chance at Tony’s throne.

(BONUS SOUNDTRACK COVERAGE: Aside from ‘Maxwell Murder’, ‘Be Quiet and Drive’ by the Deftones and ‘Stupid Lullabies’ by The Swingin’ Utters are two other perfectly curated songs that would’ve been just right on a Tony Hawk soundtrack. Additionally, while it’s tough to argue the sonic merits of it in 2023, ‘Loose’ by Primer 55 might be the most crucial cut on this soundtrack. No song sounds more like the year 2000 or the Sega Dreamcast than this nu metal, rap-rock also-ran. This shit went hard as fuck when it came out, and its inclusion makes perfect sense, as the guys that played this type of music tended to hunch forward when they played, sort of like they were riding a bicycle.) — M. Roebuck

#137. 102 Dalmatians: Puppies to the Rescue 

November 15, 2000
Crystal Dynamics
Eidos Interactive

As I write this, we have just finished Summer Games Fest 2023 and seen the most incredible looking games modern hardware can offer. We have the ability to create worlds and characters we could only dream of before now in the highest fidelity, and nothing shown on that stage will emotionally effect me the way the 3D model of Cruella DeVille from this game did. Cruella is a masterpiece in body horror. Her stick-thin frame floats within a physics-less fur coat the color of my childhood home’s living room rug. Tiny hands poke out of endless black portals in the sleeves, waving around as if Frank Oz where somehow inside there puppeteering this grotesque, beetle-like monstrosity. This character looks like a 5th grader’s drawing of Bowser brought to life. I see her lurking in the corner of my eye when I think I’m alone. I see her at night as I attempt to close my eyes. Dreamcast Cruella DeVille has frightened me to my core and I don’t know if I will ever be the same again. Anyway, this game is a mediocre Spyro the Dragon clone if you’re interested in that sort of thing. — S. Finkelstein

#136. Prince of Persia: Arabian Nights

November 21, 2000
Avalanche Software
Mattel Interactive

When the developers of Prince of Persia were faced with bringing the franchise into the realm of 3D, they had a challenge set before them: how would the Prince’s fluid movements and the game’s trademark precision platforming translate into the third dimension? They decided to give up and just copy Tomb Raider’s tank controls. While the interface eventually becomes agreeable — if not intuitive — it doesn’t allow for the effortless acrobatics that the franchise is known for. There’s not much interesting to say about the combat or graphics, and the story is exactly what you would expect from a Western creative team writing a game about the ancient Middle East. As for the soundtrack, let’s just say that if Nintendo had published the game, they would have replaced it in later versions. Ultimately, while it’s not the trainwreck that some fans claim, it’s not really worth your time when there are so many better games in the franchise, not to mention the genre as a whole. — K. Duggan

#135. Xtreme Sports

November 28, 2000
Innerloop Studios
Infrogrames

You know when you can’t decide which sport you want to play, but you know that it’s gotta be extreme? Developer Innerloop Studios set out to solve that problem. Rather than burden you with the responsibility of choosing a single sport, you’ll engage in several across a single, sprawling course. You’ll zoom down a mountain on a snowboard, using the control stick to direct your movement. Then, you’ll clip into a hang glider, where you’ll use the control stick to…direct your movement. There’s not a ton of variety here, even among the characters and courses. The graphics are probably some of the best on the console and the levels are enormous, but the game as a whole falls well short of being xtreme, or even extreme spelled correctly. When it came out in the year 2000, you would have rented it for a sleepover, only to switch back to GoldenEye after an hour. — K. Duggan

#134. Carrier 

February 29, 2000
Jaelco

Carrier is “Resident Evil on an aircraft carrier” the same way that Under Siege is “Die Hard on a battleship.” From the jump, Carrier wears its influences on its sleeve, from its story outline, to its control scheme, to murdering a helicopter pilot in the first 5 minutes, to the sketchy mission-control dude who’s wearing sunglasses at midnight. Carrier knows what it’s about.

It does add a few things to the formula, to be fair. Carrier’s got a lot of John Carpenter’s The Thing in its DNA. Early on, you’re handed a scope that you can use to scan your environment in first-person, in order to find hidden items, reveal invisible enemies, and occasionally tell when a nearby human’s about to turn into a plant zombie. You can also aim at specific locations on enemy targets, in order to save ammo by going for the head shot immediately. Just the same, it’s a late ‘90s survival-horror game, which means it’s still using the old-fashioned “tank” controls. Playing Carrier in 2023 means either relearning some old habits or getting used to steering your character like he’s a shopping cart with one bad wheel. Most importantly, it wasn’t particularly scary even back in 2000, one year after the original Silent Hill. Carrier is a story about an unknown organism that’s converting an aircraft carrier into an alien biome, so it does have some interesting visuals, but it’s never particularly tense. It’s content to be a zombie shooter with bad voice acting and call that horror. As a result, the only reason to dig it up in 2023 is if you’re a manic survival horror fan on a mission to play every game in the sub-genre.  — T. Wilde

#133. San Francisco Rush 2049

September 6th, 2000
Midway Games West
Midway Home Entertainment

I reviewed this game for our Nintendo 64 list and was curious to see how this version handled on a system with higher processing power and an orange swirly symbol in the logo. There are some noticeable advancements to the game’s graphics and visuals, though trees are still flat 2D sprites, but hey, ya whizz by ‘em so fast so who even cares! Thanks to the Dreamcast’s internet capabilities, we can even visit the game’s “Web Site” right on the disc! Nothing like being advertised to for the game you already own, huh? Speaking of advertisements, rest assured that the numerous ads for Dickies and Slim Jims are still littered throughout the racetracks, completely unharmed.

The game controls relatively similar to its N64 counterpart, though to accelerate you press the right trigger instead of the A-button, which I did not know so I embarrassed myself by beginning a race and immediately kicking it into reverse. Honestly it’s a lot of the same– there’s still no drifting function, but the courses are designed more with that in mind compared to previous entries in the series so you won’t crash into quite as many walls. That’s nice. — K. Podas

#132. Silent Scope

October 23, 2000
Konami

C’mon, you’ve been to Dave and Buster’s. You’ve played Silent Scope. You know how it works: you assume the role of the only police officer in the entirety of Chicago as you attempt to rescue the President and his family from terrorists, armed with just your trusty sniper rifle. Thankfully, the game gives you helpful hints, such as explaining that the first boss’s weakness is being shot in the head. There aren’t any surprises here, but it’s a decent enough rail shooter. The story mode is very short, but the real point of the game is chasing high scores. If you’re not into that, then the replayability is minimal. The Dreamcast port definitely suffers from being forced to swap out the arcade version’s cool prop gun for a standard gamepad, but hey, you’ll save money on quarters. — K. Duggan

#131. Soul Fighter

November 23rd, 1999
Toka
Red Orb Entertainment

Soul Fighter is a 3D beat-em-up game that thematically has a lot in common with Sega legacy title Golden Axe, except it sucks. Right from the get-go, the game starts with one of the most bafflingly hilarious opening cutscenes I’ve ever seen. The king stands up from his throne and gives an extremely wordy monologue explaining the entire backstory as if he’s reading directly from the game’s instruction manual. This is accompanied by zero other visuals besides the 3D model of the king gesturing wildly, though it looks more as if he’s sundowning or having a stroke. I didn’t come here to watch some boring play, I came here to fucking fight some souls or whatever.

The combat and gameplay are pretty unintuitive and repetitive, and character models are consistently bad, ragdolling when it’s supposed to look like they’re pulling off cool martial arts moves and stuff. Somewhere out there, somebody who played this game growing up has a completely different definition of the term “souls-like”, and it’s not a good thing. — K. Podas

#130. Donald Duck Goin’ Quackers

December 13, 2000
Ubisoft Casablanca

Adequate. Satisfactory. Fine. These aren’t just three words my parents have used to describe my writing — they also encapsulate how it feels to play Disney’s Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers. This is an okay platformer of an okay length based on an okay character. It’s a Crash Bandi-clone through and through: 3D graphics with a 2D platforming sensibility. As you might expect from a game of this genre and era, most of its challenge can be attributed to depth perception. Whoops, that hole is bigger than it looks. Better jump slightly later next time. Whoops, that enemy is closer than it looks. Better jump slightly earlier next time. — Chandler Dean

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