Welcome to Hard Drive’s monthly power rankings of the top American gamers in the world right now. As always, a reminder that these are not an objective ranking and just Hard Drive’s cumulative opinion of who’s absolutely killing the game(s) right now!
Colby Chase
This little prodigy somehow got to all 1,000 Starfield planets on the second day of playing it. He said it wasn’t even that hard, either.
Maddie Harrington
Maddie continues her run atop the Call of Duty leaderboards with her absolutely devastating combination of patience and accuracy. “I like to play video games,” she said of her expert strategy. “I have fun on there.”
Hank’s Buddy, Bill
Astute readers of this column will recognize the absolute fervor Bill’s exclusion caused last time we ranked the top gamers in the world. While many will take Bill’s making the list this time around as a spineless nomination meant to appease the readers of this website, the truth is we’ve been playing Fortnite with Bill and he’s actually pretty good! Nice guy, too. Sorry again about that, Hank.
Mysterious Neighbor Kid
Still haven’t caught this kid’s name, but he lives next door to me and I keep waking up to find him on my PS5 getting every trophy he can. There’s a lot wrong here, but I’ve decided to just let it happen. Rock and roll, little dude.
George R. R. Martin
He hasn’t started that fuckin’ book, you guys. He’s just playing Rocket League. For what it’s worth though, he’s amazing at it.
Chelsea Snow
While not necessarily a gamer, this kid hid her dad’s Xbox controller until he stopped trying to look for it and he’s been spending more time with her lately. Diabolical. It’s kind of fucked up, and certainly an anti-gamer action, but we just really admire the chaos on display here. This kid has big things in her future.
Edgar Keller
In addition to being one of the early players to watch in the burgeoning Mortal Kombat 1 scene, Keller has actually successfully done two of the game’s fatalities during recess since school started. While he awaits trial, his streams have become a must watch.
Jaydon Haines
This seven year Apex Legends prodigy has been playing the game every day since it came out, which both impressive and concerning, as the game released four years ago.
Vinnie Hebert
Vinnie has an over 80% percent winning percentage on Dead By Daylight, which doesn’t seem that impressive until you consider that the whole game scares him too much to look at the screen while he plays. Very impressive, Vinny!
Your Aunt
While she would never admit it, because she doesn’t realize it, your Aunt’s completion percentage and time spent on Candy Crush put her amongst some of the most accomplished gamers in the world. Her racist posts further cement her gamer status, even if she prefers to use Facebook over Discord.
