40. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Just the best shit. You know it’s a funny thing; sometimes I feel like a Leo, but then other days I can be a real Raph.
39. Microsoft Flight Simulator
Using this piece of software I can see what all kinds of different parts of Europe look like! My nephew even showed me how to fly over Texas on there. Very cool.
38. Overcooked!
I had no idea this is what cooking food was like! What a riot.
37. Parappa the Rappa
While I can’t stomach a single thing he stands for, the fact remains; that rapping dog makes me laugh.
36. SEGA Bass Fishing
Sigh, I haven’t found time to play this a single time yet all summer. Oh well, there’s still July and August!
35. Among Us
I got the boys into this during pandemic. We’d always just throw Rumsfield out for the hell of it, heh heh heh
34. Mario Paint
The OG. The reason I’m an artist today. Cheney put this in the oval office one day and told me to color him something nice, and when I came out the Patriot Act was official. He loved my drawing of Yoshi.
33. The Simpsons
A classic. One time we found it at this steakhouse we were having dinner at, and the twins thought it’d be funny to grab Homer and Bart and make me play as one of the girls. Wasn’t so funny when I left their asses there!! Heh heh heh
32. Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit!
I used to watch the rerun of this show every day at 6:30 hoping to catch the crazy episode this game is based on. No luck. Probably the great failure of my life, if I’m being introspective.
31. Bubble Bobble
I used to call Cheney in the middle of the night from my Secret Service guy’s cell phone and he’d answer the phone all grumpy and I’d just whisper “Bubble bobble. Bubble bobble.” It drove him mad and me and the boys used to laugh our asses off.
30. Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
29. Bushido Blade
A lot of people don’t know this, but I briefly studied bushido in college, before it was made clear that the ‘training school’ was merely a couple of guys taking advantage of my fascination with Asian culture and charging me 1200 bucks a week to sword fight with wrapping paper tubes. Fool me once!
28. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
I will take every single one of you down. Every. Single. One. Fucking try me.
27. Ducktales
More games about rich idiots without a care in the world, please. Tried to jump on my cane once like Scrooge does in this game and it almost went right up my butt! Heh heh
26. Dead or Alive 2
I like the mechanics here. Those big, bouncing, beautiful mechanics.
25. Paper Mario
Hey, they squished him! This game was so fun, but I couldn’t really have that great of a time, since I was so worried about Mario’s vital organs. After he popped up in some other games and I realized he was okay, I could enjoy this game for the charming RPG it is.
24. Sonic the Hedgehog 2
I used to play this late at night and then wake up early in the morning so I cold run around the hallways pretending to be Sonic. One time Coneeleeza saw me and I just pretended to be sleepwalking. She didn’t believe it at all, maybe because I was in my Sonic pajamas, but what was she going to say? I was the president!
23. Harvest Moon 64
Nothing like a good honest day’s work on a farm to remind me what it would have been like if I had been born a poor.
22. WWF Royal Rumble
This was where the pro wrestling games really started to get good. Great game, great controls, great roster. I pulled my ass trying to do Lex Luger moves on Jeb after we played this one!
21. Namco Museum
This is really just a way to get six classic arcade games onto the list in one swift entry. This is the kind of mind that got me re-elected, folks. Economy.
