Anyone who’s played Cyberpunk 2077 knows Night City is chock full of gangs. Each has a distinct origin, ethos, and style, but they all share a few traits.
Every gang in Cyberpunk 2077 consists of ne’er-do-wells with a propensity for violence and little regard for their own physical wellbeing.
While Johnny Knoxville and company aren’t anywhere to be found in Night City, we’re pretty sure most of the gangs would probably like Jackass. Well, maybe some more than others.
Let’s investigate.
#10 — Voodoo Boys
The Voodoo Boys are a particularly cryptic gang that hasn’t cracked a smile since the ‘20s. Originally started by voodoo priests and priestesses, the Haitian group is enigmatic and hostile to outsiders. They give the distinct vibe that they’re not up for any antics, tomfoolery, or buffoonery.
They probably wouldn’t like Jackass at all, but they might tolerate Wildboyz.
#9 — 6th Street
Originally founded by war veterans, 6th Street consists of well-armed, camo-clad jabronis with the cadence of a drill sergeant. Its members claim to uphold law and order in Night City, but, as Johnny Silverhand puts it, they primarily “vomit lofty patriotic bullshit all day.”
If you showed 6th Street Jackass: The Movie, they’d enjoy it at first, but then it’d start to lose them. They’d find taking a shit in a hardware store disrespectful, and the first time Steve-O puts something in his butt, one of them would shoot the tv.
#8 — Tyger Claws
The Tyger Claws are possibly the most dangerous/hardcore gang in Cyberpunk 2077. In addition to being completely batshit, they’re bankrolled by the largest corporation in the country. They’re armed to the teeth, drive super-fast flashy vehicles, and seem to be actively committing a crime at all times.
They wouldn’t necessarily have anything against Jackass, but they’re simply too busy fucking terrorizing the city with samurai swords to watch tv.
If they had some time to kill while waiting outside a casino with guns or something, you could probably amuse them with some clips on your phone. Or maybe you describe some of your favorite bits — one of them might respond with an affirmative, “That’s funny.”
#7 — Scavengers
The Scavengers are a bunch of assholes who exclusively prey on innocent people, harvesting their cyberware and organs for profit. These windbreaker-loving fucks have no regard for human life.
They’d like any Jackass bit that could be classified as mean-spirited — e.g. when Bam beats up his dad or any instance when Ehren McGhehey is bullied. But if you tried to show them the one where Wee-Man runs around as a traffic cone — they’d immediately lose interest.
Scavs would probably go apeshit for Bum Fights, though.
#6 — Wraiths
The Wraiths are a gang of excommunicated nomads who were all kicked out of their original clans for doing something unspeakably terrible. Think the island of misfit toys — but much darker and mandated to stay at least 500 feet away from schools. Wraiths are a lawless bunch that has nothing left to lose.
They’d like Jackass, but not for the right reasons. Wraiths would watch it for 10 minutes, then start recording videos of them shooting each other in the dick.
Like all failed Jackass clones, they’d ultimately fall short due to a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes it funny.
#5 — Valentinos
One of the most prominent gangs in Night City, the Valentinos have an affinity for flashy gold cyberware, Santa Muerte tattoos, and lowriders adorned with religious iconography.
Ignoring the nefarious parts of being a gang, the Valentinos seem relatively laid back and definitely make time for recreation. If you showed them a well-curated selection of Jackass while they were hanging out in a living room, it would be a big hit.
The Valentinos would love the one where Brad Pitt gets kidnapped or when they piss off golfers with an air horn. But anything involving bodily fluids would 100% elicit the phrase “pinche pendejo.”
#4 — The Aldecaldos
One of the oldest nomad groups in Night City, the Aldecaldos are a lovable bunch of ragtag road dogs. Their ethos emphasizes family values — in a non-CPAC way — and they spend many nights hanging out, drinking beer by a bonfire.
The Aldecaldos would fully embrace Jackass. But if Panam was in a mood, she’d probably say something shitty and unplug the tv.
#3 — Animals
Animals are a group of absolute units with a unique love for physical violence. These freaks of nature are often hired muscle and the most-feared bouncers in Night City. In their spare time, they run and compete in illegal fighting rings. In a constant quest for the ultimate pump, they drink their own homemade hormone cocktail called “Juice.”
Shit yeah, these guys would like Jackass. They’re meatheads that fight for fun. Their intense, instantaneous love for Jackass would quickly become detrimental to the people and property around them.
The Animals would completely disregard the little “do not try this at home” disclaimer.
#2 — The Mox
The Mox is a relatively small group consisting of “mostly sex workers, anarchists, punks, and sexual minorities,” according to the Cyberpunk Wiki. As their name implies, they ooze moxie, and they even have their own apparel brand called BITCH.
On the surface, they’d seem bemused by Jackass, but it would quickly become their comfort viewing. The Mox are the kind of folks that would party with the Jackass crew. Rita (the bouncer of Lizzie’s bar) would entertain Johnny Knoxville for hours with stories, and the other guys would unsuccessfully hit on every Mox in the vicinity that wasn’t brandishing a baseball bat.
#1 — Maelstrom
Considered the most dangerous gang in Night City, the Maelstrom is a particularly violent bunch that loves inhaling chemicals and installing excessive chrome in their dome. Besides your standard drug smuggling, the Maelstrom own and operate an exceptionally gnarly death metal club called the Totentanz.
These lunatics would love Jackass. It would run on an endless loop in their venue while they huff dubious substances. Inevitably, one of them would probably be inspired to pull out a cattle prod, and the night would take a dark turn.
