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Every Confirmed Change in the Upcoming ‘Red Dead Redemption’ Rerelease

Rockstar Games just confirmed that they’re rereleasing their 2010 hit Red Dead Redemption digitally on the Switch and PlayStation 4 digital storefronts in a week, with a physical copy to follow in October. Many fans were upset about the fact that it will not the full blown remake they were hoping for, but there are many significant changes that have been confirmed thus far. Here are what we feel are the most significant ones. 

Richard Karn now voices main character John Marston 

Due to some complications with contracts and some savvy business maneuvering from the former Home Improvement costar, Richard Karn now plays the game’s protagonist. He’s not bad! 

It’s woke now 

Sorry to break it to you, but there’s this whole part in Mexico. What the hell? 

Horses will now receive radio stations similar to those found in ‘Grand Theft Auto’ games 

Personally I always liked the quiet vibes as you rode around and explored the frontier, but I suppose you can just turn the horse radio off if you’d like. 

Awkward product placement 

The game’s cutscenes are mostly unchanged, with the exception of Marston’s bizarre insistence on ordering a “delicious Diet Pepsi cola,” in every saloon you enter throughout the game. 

Better mud 

The combat, animations, and controls are mostly untouched, but the mud is supposed to be “astounding.” 

No online mode, despite $50 price tag

Did we mention the mud, though? It’s supposed to be pretty nice. 

Horses will no longer talk to you 

“Looking back, that was one thing in the first one that we messed up on,” admitted Sam Houser, executive producer and cowriter of the game. “I don’t know what we were thinking.” 

‘Undead Nightmare’ will be included 

This extra chapter of DLC features the same map but now it’s overran with zombies. Sounds like a huge Last of Us ripoff to me! 

You can shave your balls in this one 

Oh come on. Really? 

Will still be a meditation on The American Dream 

“Also, the horses take shits now!” exclaimed one Rockstar developer.  

Location will be updated to modern day Tucson 

It’s more or less the same, except now you can stop at a Circle K! 

Horse dicks 

Alright, I didn’t want to talk about this, and we certainly dwelled on it a lot when Red Dead Redemption 2 came out, but these things are gonna be DRAGGING in this one I heard. 

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