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Tips for Getting Started in ‘Baldur’s Gate 3’

Baldur’s Gate 3 launched to nearly universal praise earlier this month, and while many players are enjoying the traditional RPG, others may not be used to the rules and characters of Dungeons & Dragons. If you’re thinking of checking the game out but are unsure what to do, here are some tips for getting started in Baldur’s Gate 3

Turn On Your PC

Fucking duh. Idiot.

Bid Farewell to Your Friends and Family

You don’t need them anymore.

Watch the 2007 Thriller Film ‘Michael Clayton’ Starring George Clooney

While it won’t give you any tips or strategy for the game, it’s just something everyone should do

Fully Romance Yourself

In Baldur’s Gate’s complex romance options, the game stresses that you cannot learn to love a companion or NPC before you learn to love yourself. Be sure to affirm yourself before every quest and become more accepting of you own reflection with every level up.

Diaper Up

You won’t max out your entire party if you have to walk all the way down the hall to defecate

If You Get Stuck, Have A Full-On Fucking Breakdown

The game isn’t always easy, so remember that if you’re struggling to launch into a depressive spiral wondering if the game is fun, if games in general are fun, if everyone in your life hates you, and if anyone would even care if you disappeared.

Take A Shower

If we tell you this gives you +1 Dexterity, will you do it?

Explore the Tea-Making Skill Tree

Many beginners will hit a wall later in the game due to an under leveled Chamomile stat

Start A Roth IRA Account

No matter what class or morality path you choose, it’s never too early to start saving for your party’s retirement

Don a Sensible Cardigan

Though they’ll be conquering perilous dungeons and vanquishing lethal foes, make sure your party can be comfortable yet fashionable with a light wool button-up sweater.

Play ‘Baldur’s Gate 2’ In-Game

Upon progressing to a certain point in the game, your party can build a bespoke PC gaming rig to settle down from a busy day questing with a few hours of Baldur’s Gate 2.