64. Dive Man (Mega Man 4)
Dive Man is a great guy, but sadly the whole “I’m a tiny unregulated submarine” thing is a little awkward right now.
63. Heat Man (Mega Man 2)
Obviously great in the winter, utility-bill wise, but do you really want to do July with Heat Man as your roommate? I can’t prove this but I feel like he’d always crank up the AC after everyone went to bed and then would insist everyone pays the same on the energy bill. I’d rather just live with a guy who’s not freezing or burning all the time.
62. Splash Woman (Mega Man 9)
This one is tricky, because I worry that placing the lone woman on the list too low or high could invite bad faith readings, but let’s be honest, do you want to share a bathroom with Splash Woman? Get real.
61. Centaur Man (Mega Man 6)
Beware, for rooming with Centaur Man is a blessing and a curse. Of course it’s incredible seeing a Centaur up close like that. But soon enough you will be sick of everyone asking if they can come over and see the Centaur Man. It’s like, “Do you guys even like me? Or do you just want to see if my Centaur roommate is awake?”
60. Tundra Man (Mega Man 11)
Tundra Man wears ice skates ALL THE TIME. On top of damages to the floors, you know it’s just loud as hell. I don’t think you’d want to live with Tundra Man.
59. Metal Man (Mega Man 2)
It’s funny that the metal disc on his head sort of makes him look like a doctor or something, but he leaves that thing in like all the time. Frankly, it’s kind of unnerving. I think he leaves it in there to intimidate people, but he would never admit that. I don’t know, I just think it would be tense living with this guy. Do you really feel like telling Metal Man you’re having people over for the Super Bowl?
58. Toad Man (Mega Man 4)
Toad Man is a good dude, so I feel bad having him so low on the list, but it’s just that if you’re sharing a place with Toad Man, it’s a logistical nightmare. You can’t just keep one bedroom in a duplex cold and wet, that’s not how it works. You need to be in a lab or something, Toad Man! Also, sometimes he makes jokes about people that you should say quietly, but he says them way too loud. They’re going to hear you, dude. Shut the fuck up.
57. Hornet Man (Mega Man 9)
I feel bad ‘cause Hornet Man is a solid dude and a great cook, but you know he’s just gonna be bringing other hornets around. I don’t like the sounds of that at all.
56. Gyro Man (Mega Man 5)
Heads up, if you answered this guy’s craigslist add because you thought you’d be waist deep in Greek food, bad news. It’s the other “Gyro.” This guy’s got a propeller on his damn back that practically guarantee you aren’t getting your full security deposit back, even if it wasn’t you that did that to all the walls and doorways.
55. Jewel Man (Mega Man 9)
It’s tough, man. Dude will pay rent and is happy to buy new cool shit for the house, but the more you learn about his background and where he got all those diamonds, it becomes harder to enjoy it all.
54. Flame Man (Mega Man 6)
You might think Flame Man is better than some of the other fiery guys you’ll see in this list, because his isn’t a constantly burning open flame that’s a part of his person. And sure, that’s valuable. But more importantly than that, Flame Man always has some different brother or cousin stopping over or staying the night. It’s super annoying.
53. Tengu Man (Mega Man 8)
Tengu man could be a really fun guy, with his plane engine strapped to his back and ability to conjure up windstorms at will, but sadly he spends most of his time being all condescending about what a Tengu is and how you’ve probably never heard of one before. So what if I haven’t, Tengu Man?
52. Junk Man (Mega Man 7)
This guy is a fun guy to hang out with, but he just keeps too much junk around. After one month all the spare room in the place will have odd parts in it. In three months you won’t even be able to use your own garage.
51. Crash Man (Mega Man 2)
I read online that this guy’s name is because he’s flaked out on so many roommates in the past and is always looking for somewhere to stay. I always was confused by his name since he was a guy with drill arms that shot out bombs. That makes sense though. It might be bullshit, but I don’t want you taking the chance, so he’s ranked pretty low here.
50. Top Man (Mega Man 3)
I don’t have a ton of hard intel on Top Man, but I’m a “no” on him. Grow up, dude.
49. Plant Man (Mega Man 6)
Plant Man is a nice guy, and he doesn’t realize he’s doing it, but he complains about there not being enough sunlight in the room ALL. THE. TIME. Also your water bill’s going through the roof, so be ready for that if you get a place with Plant Man.
48. Shade Man (Mega Man 7)
Shade Man is a mess. You think he’d be into something cool like hammocks or talking shit, but he’s like some haunted bat that does tricks with sound waves? Maybe you’re different, but I’m not trying to live with someone that’s still figuring their whole thing out. It’s too unpredictable.
47. Fire Man (Mega Man)
People freak out like this guy just goes around lighting everything he sees on fire, but that’s not the case. What kind of life would that be? I get that people are a little put off by the open flame that is always burning atop his head, but so what? What if he was called Olympic Torch Man? Then you’d probably love him, you judgmental fuckers!
46. Pharaoh Man (Mega Man 4)
So Pharaoh Man is a solid guy, and he won’t trash your place like half the robots on this list, but the problem with him is that his skillset makes it hard for him to hold down a job. He really just knows Egyptian shit and trying to kill Mega Man. So just know that.
45. Turbo Man (Mega Man 7)
Turbo Man is cool ‘cause he just turns into a car and sleeps in the driveway, so you can still rent out the other bedroom. It sucks when he comes in to use the kitchen though, because it ends up smelling like a race track in there by the time he’s done making breakfast.
44. Commando Man (Mega Man 10)
There are a lot of nasty rumors about Commando Man’s involvement in January 6th, but the fact remains that as a roommate he is by all accounts completely courteous and respectful. Also, since he’s in the National Guard, he leaves like every third weekend or something like that. So maybe not as bad a roommate as the internet would have you believe.
